My Moment of Truth

I was never a morning person. I would always wake up in a half-state of consciousness and meander through the house in some Frankenstein-like motion until I found my way to the breakfast table. Should you endeavor to speak to me, responses were limited to grunts, moans and some crude form of hand signals not recognized by the American Sign Language Society. If you were that unfortunate individual trying to strike up a conversation, you were just out of luck. My apologies.

Especially in your teen years, there was something about coming out of that state of deep sleep that was not conducive to coherent conversation. Your body might be up and moving, but your mind is still adjusting to the demands of the real world. That short reprieve from your daily responsibilities, known as sleep, is a difficult thing to come out of. Kind of like that relaxing vacation coming to a close, you just don’t want to return to the real world. And you take as a direct assault on your rights that person who should have the gall to speak to you. Not that you think of yourself as the King (or Queen) of the world, but for that first 15-20 minutes of coming out of your slumber, you wish the world would treat you that way. Then, when you’re completely present in this newly-discovered realm you’d be willing to take questions. ‘The King/Queen will see you now’ could be your response when ready. Yeah, you’re right. That might not be well-received.
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Coming fully out of this state, you don’t find yourself to be quite the same person. Cranky Crankerson has now left the room and a sane, rational—even personable—individual is now present. It’s funny how a little change in perception can change the person. You don’t see things in quite the same bleak way. That alarm that was your mortal enemy 20 minutes ago—ready to take an axe to it if you had one—is now a distant memory. You’ve let go of that restful state to which you first wanted to return and now see the possibilities before you. Morning coffee helps too, of course.

But if you’re not that morning person, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not a positive person. It can just mean that you need some time to adjust to what’s in front of you. That state of transition is sometimes painful. But a new day is before you. Your window to save the world in the next 16 hours is quickly closing. Your kingdom needs you awake and coherent to make those executive decisions that only can be made by you. Well, maybe I overstate things. But, regardless, you have opportunities present here that elude you during sleep. This is your chance to engage. It’ll only be a few short hours before you say, “The King/Queen will now retire to their private chambers.”

…Let’s go deeper

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I suppose in an effort to be down-to-earth we dispense with pretense and make ourselves as approachable and relatable as possible. Nothing wrong with that. That’s even a good thing. But there’s a down-to-earth approach and then there’s a Green-Acres-here-I-come kind of presentation. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not picking on country folk, or anyone less cultured than most. I’m just saying that, when we’re trying to positively influence others, presentation matters.

And as much as we like to think appearances don’t matter, or shouldn’t matter, they do. People usually make several judgments about us before we even open our mouth to say anything. That’s just the reality we live in. And sometimes those judgments are a reflection of reality.

A positive appearance can provide that open door into someone’s life, whereas with a disheveled appearance you may never get the chance. To put it in simpler terms, think about asking someone for financial advice and they drive up to your door in a old rusted out 1978 Ford Pinto station wagon. Would you want to take financial advice from that person? Actually, it could be that he’s just really frugal and secretly a millionaire, but chances are most likely not.
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I believe in our appearance-obsessed culture it’s so easy to be repulsed by it and end up gravitating to the opposite end of the spectrum—thinking appearances shouldn’t matter at all. But being concerned with appearances doesn’t necessarily make you pretentious; it’s when we’re overly concerned with appearances that we run into problems. Think of it this way: Instead of outward appearances trying to present something that’s not there, think of appearances being an extension, or even a reflection of what’s on the inside. That’s when appearances and presentation are honest and pure. The outside and inside are accurately represented.

And appearances can make you feel more confident. If you were giving a speech in front of a large crowd, you’d find it much easier if you were wearing dress clothes than your workout gear you wear to the gym. Your clothing doesn’t just say something to others about you, it says something to yourself about you. You’re giving an affirming voice to who you are. It’s not that outward appearances are to be disregarded; they just aren’t a good thing when they aren’t true to form.

Taking pride in our appearance is OK, as long as we’re not prideful in our appearance. The things we neglect reflect the things we don’t care about. When we show little concern over how we present ourselves, we aren’t reflecting a positive outlook on life. And I understand there are times when life throws challenges at us that would make being concerned with appearances imprudent. But putting some effort into our presentation isn’t a bad thing. And we don’t need to feel bad about looking good.

…Let’s go deeper

It’s easy to take things for granted, especially when what you have is all you’ve ever known. I can speak somewhat to health issues, having had some of my own. I can tell you that the saying is certainly true, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” The health that’s most inherent to youth is also the least appreciated. At 18, or 25, or even 30, you think you’re going to live forever. You don’t think much about the decline of health that can sometimes come in your later years, or the just the loss of your health at any age.

Talk to anyone with health issues and they will likely tell you they would trade most anything to get it back. The pursuit of money and material possessions lose their lustre if you don’t have your health. Because if you don’t have your health—just speaking in physical terms—you don’t have anything. The mega-rich realize the truth of this when their own health begins to deteriorate. It forces a new perspective on them they probably hadn’t considered before; you can buy a lot of things, but you can’t put a price tag on your health. The healthy pauper living in a one room shack in some third world country is light years ahead of the billionaire industrialist with only a short time to live. He would gladly trade his wealth to that pauper in order to be healthy again and live in that one-room domicile.

But the things we value the least are also the ones we neglect the most. If we feel pretty good already, we don’t see any need to upset the apple cart. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? But we lose sight of the fact that without preventative maintenance, most everything does end up broken. I mean, your car runs pretty good…..until it doesn’t. That’s when you realize regular oil changes, 30,000 mile maintenance, and regular repairs aren’t such a bad idea.
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Our bodies are finely tuned machines. As such, they need regular care and maintenance. And the thing that becomes glaringly important as you get older is that your body can only work with what you give it. The regular trips to Dairy Queen and Burger King aren’t what’s meant by giving your body the ‘royal treatment’. The right treatment involves a bit of regular exercise and incorporating some natural foods. The saying ‘you are what you eat’ reflects some truth. Your body can’t build and repair if it doesn’t have the right tools. So, before you eat something, it’s good to ask, “Is this going to help my body serve its purpose, or am I just giving it a bunch of junk it doesn’t need to deal with?”

The best approach is to be proactive to prevent likely problems down the road, because once you’ve lost your health, it’s even harder to get it back. It’s much better to try to keep what you already have than try to regain what you lost through neglect.

…Let’s go deeper

In looking for answers, we might mistakenly discard the truth for an error. I would say looking for answers is good. But there’s one simple rule I like to employ in discerning truth from error: is the new answer you’ve discovered better than the one you already have in hand? Put simply, does a new theory bring up more questions than it answers? That’s the test I like to apply for validity.

Some theories sound compelling at first. But upon further review (I sound like an official at the Sunday afternoon football game). Sorry…I got distracted. Anyway, after looking at things a little closer you often find that a new theory has too many holes in it. You thought, at first, it might answer some of the current questions you hold, but it fails in answering the most important questions. These are sometimes the ones most difficult to let go of. But to maintain our logical approach, we have to align ourselves with the most logical answer. It’s like trying to get a Rubik’s Cube to match up on all sides; you get one side to show all the same color, but then you sacrifice all the other sides and the rest of it looks like a mess. So, in an effort to pursue truth, we can easily find it in some areas, but sacrifice the truth in others. Truth is found in the balances.

Conversely, if the answer you currently have isn’t passing muster, it would naturally compel you to look for a better one. We cling to some beliefs simply because we’ve always held them. They’re like that old security blanket. If you think of Linus from the Peanuts cartoon, you get the idea. He clung to that blanket like his life depended on it, although his life never really depended on it. And while it’s understandable to have these comforting elements when we’re younger, there comes a point when we’ve outgrown them and clinging to them just becomes absurd. Sometimes our belief systems bear a striking resemblance to this. Without realizing it, we’re clinging to an old belief we’ve never examined, and the only reason we still hold it is because it’s comfortable and we haven’t really held it up under the light of scrutiny. Sometimes we need to just sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with that old belief and let it know it’s time you part ways. It could be a false belief about the world, about yourself, or even about other people. And it may be painful, but the freedom you experience in the end will help you realize you made the right decision.
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So, an answer doesn’t have to answer all your questions; it just has to provide the best answer to all your questions. Best answer wins. That’s how we live a life that’s consistent with the reality we live in. And some things, no matter how hard we try, we can’t answer. And we have to learn to be OK with that.

…Let’s go deeper

Sometimes it’s tough to know when someone is being literal or just speaking in figurative terms. Myself, I’m a very literal person. But even I can generally tell when people are speaking in word pictures, or using imagery to convey an idea. I know that some things are just impossible to be taken literally. But metaphors, imagery, idioms, and the like are valuable tools in order to illustrate an idea to people. They can open people’s understanding to something that they might not, otherwise, see. But if you take figurative language literally you’ll easily end up confused.

The ideas we convey using these word pictures are probably under-appreciated. Without realizing it, we somehow illustrate an experience or an idea that others can easily relate to. Imagery has that advantage. Imagery is really just a kind of way to paint a mental picture with words. I personally believe that’s why people often say ‘the book is so much better’ when they’re talking about a book made into a movie. We have the advantage, when reading, of creating our own mental images of what we’re reading about. Our imagination is a pretty fertile ground for creating the backdrop for the screenplay of our liking; THX and Dolby surround just can’t compete. We had this image in our minds from the book we have already read, and comparing it to someone else’s creation just leaves us feeling disappointed.
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But beyond just simply using imagery, there are ways to use that imagery to speak in a metaphorical sense. We use word pictures, but word pictures to illustrate an idea, not to illustrate a scene. For instance, if something ‘goes over your head’, it doesn’t literally go over your head. If you didn’t know that until now, probably a lot of things have gone over your head already. Or, if someone says ‘that was a shot across the bow’, it doesn’t mean you’re in a naval battle and someone just unleashed one of their canons at the front of your Victorian era sailing vessel. It’s a metaphorical way of someone sending you a warning in a confrontational way. Anyway, these things can be helpful in illustrating the reality of something without speaking in real terms. And they color our language in a way that, without it, would leave it somewhat dry and lacking in punch. These metaphors don’t just make the complex understandable, but provide depth and color to the language as well.

So, in finding out what’s figurative or what’s literal it requires knowing the speaker’s background, the context, and some skills in discerning the statement’s likely usage. Sometimes people are too literal to take things figuratively. And sometimes people are too figurative to take things literally. But finding a balance in that is kind of up to us. We may have been too figurative in the past, or too literal in the past, but somehow we missed the message because of it. We can learn from these times to look at the message first before we impose a false understanding of what’s really being said.

…Let’s go deeper

I’ve come to this simple conclusion about life: that 90 percent of your success lies in just paying attention. I know—-I could have done much better in school had I only known earlier. But it seems to follow that many of our problems happen because we miss the details of what’s going on. I think we underestimate how often we miss the boat because we’re not even aware there was a boat to miss.

The things we neglect to observe work against us in that we’re unaware of the opportunities we miss, and we miss opportunities to prevent mistakes. I’ve noticed in the midst of observing life that you can usually determine what works and what doesn’t. And you have the advantage of doing that by watching the mistakes or successes of others and applying those lessons to your own life; you don’t have to actually endure the heartache of life lessons yourself in order to learn from them. It could be partly why as the youngest in my family, I was able to learn from my older siblings. Without realizing it, they sometimes taught me what not to do. I could observe their mistakes from a distance and think, “Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to try that one.” I can chalk that up as a lesson learned without having to endure the pain myself. But to their credit, I was also able to learn from their successes as well. Those things that worked in their favor were also solid proving grounds for me to learn from.

And not that I was so astute in applying their life lessons to my own situation—I still sometimes insisted on taking that leap-before-you-look approach. Some lessons just don’t take vicariously; you have to find out for yourself if it’s a good idea to hit golf balls across the highway. But, again, just paying attention would have been helpful. Sometimes the worst disservice to ourselves is in being oblivious to the obvious.
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It is surprising the simple but important things you can learn from paying attention. IQ might be overrated in this regard. With even an average intelligence, we can get pretty far in life by just observing and recognizing which methods and processes work and which ones fall short. It’s in committing to the process that we see the road to success begin to lay open before us. It doesn’t always have to be the tough arduous journey we think. While all pain is not avoidable, we can avoid some of the pain and misery by not inflicting it on ourselves.

So, your disgruntled elementary school teacher was right. You know, the one who was always shouting, “Pay attention!”, in disgust. Think of all the useful stuff you missed because you were just staring out the window daydreaming. See, if you had done nothing but pay attention, you could have likely gotten those grades up into that 90 percent range rather than bouncing along the bottom in the low 70s.

…Let’s go deeper

Have you ever read something and thought, “I know what it says, but what does it mean?” Meaning isn’t always readily apparent, while the words just hang there in limbo between hearing and comprehension. It’s the meaning behind words that often gets lost. And probably the worst thing is thinking you understand something when you really don’t.

Meaning isn’t always obvious. It takes some work to determine the meaning behind what’s being said. This is where interpretation comes in. Much like an interpreter is needed to decipher a foreign language, the same thing happens with languages in which we’re proficient but there’s an ambiguous meaning behind the words. And much as we would like to think so, interpretation isn’t subjective. There is usually a defined intent behind the author’s writing. We don’t just get to ascribe whatever meaning we want to a piece of work.

But, admittedly, interpretation is as much art as it is science. There are a number of things to take into account. It’s important to read things in light of what someone has said before. Taking things out of context is a classic mistake. Also, if you have a history of someone’s writing, you’re more likely to not apply the wrong meaning to a phrase if your interpretation would directly contradict what they’ve said before. When reading a single phrase representing an idea, you apply the rest of their work as a means for defining the sentence.
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You also have to decide whether to take something literally or figuratively. This can be a challenge at times. Some people are less literal than others. And sometimes figurative language can be useful in communicating the impact of an idea more effectively. Figurative language communicates and evokes emotion from the reader. It’s a valuable tool in writing, but you can get yourself into trouble when you take as literal something that’s meant to be a metaphor or figurative. So, it can take some practice and discipline, but applying the right interpretive method at the right time is key. And using good judgment here can keep you from getting into the weeds when reading a piece of work.

Another problem with interpretation comes when we hear what we want to be said instead of wanting to hear what’s being said. Our own biases tend to get in the way. The true student of truth lets the evidence take him where it will. Like an investigative reporter, he just wants the facts and has no preferences about what the facts are one way or another. When we remove our own preferences, we are only doing ourselves a favor in discovering truth. Truth doesn’t care what we want to be true; it is truth regardless. As emotionally involved as we may become, it’s important that we keep emotions in check. Otherwise, we impose on what’s being said instead of accurately interpreting what’s being said. When we take this approach to understanding, we clear a path on our journey of discovery that would prevent us from getting stuck in a ditch of error.

…Let’s go deeper

It’s interesting when we imagine the future—what it will be like; how technology progresses; how people will behave. Of course, our predictions always end up being wrong in a lot of ways. Some things we happen to get right. But if you’re going to imagine a future, wouldn’t you think you’d want to imagine a rosy one? You would think so. But that doesn’t seem to be the case many times.

I’ve noticed that the great futuristic science fiction novels of the modern era seem to have a common theme. If you look at the likes of George Orwell’s 1984, you don’t see a very positive vision for humanity within the pages of this novel. It’s one where freedom is given up for the sake of security, the government assumes its role as ‘Big Brother’, and people have little chance of improving their destitute situation. Rather than only a few people living in destitution—as under a free society—everyone ends up in destitution. Emotions are discouraged, thoughts can be considered crimes, and citizens are manipulated and controlled by propaganda. These themes are echoed in others like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. It takes on a slightly different form. But, again, the rights of the individual are quashed, individuality is strongly condemned, and conformity is rewarded. In similar manner, they show the results of totalitarian states.
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In some recent novels, like the Giver by Lois Lowry, we’re shown what appears on the surface to be a true man-made utopia. People live in peace, with prosperous lifestyles, little disease, but once again the state rules supreme. People have more freedom, but your future task in life is decided for you. While families appear as cohesive units, you find that the family unit is subverted by the will of the state. And once you delve beneath the surface, you find that there’s an ugly underbelly to the whole system. At least this one has a happy ending. A single old man granted the wisdom revealed from the past—which everyone else had forgotten—and a young man serve to break this society out of its beleaguered state and return some semblance of sanity to the people. Even in these stories where mankind starts with good intentions of creating a heaven on earth, it seems he’s doomed to create his own private state of despair.

I think these predictions of doom beg the question: why do so many writers think our future is one of despair and destruction when left to our own devices? I understand that writing about future dystopias make for a more interesting story than a utopia, but I have to think there’s something more to it. And while I don’t think literature is conclusive about anything, I do believe it can provide a telling revelation about ourselves. The interesting contradiction is found in the fact that if you ask most people if they are a good person, they will affirm their own goodness. But if you look at the prediction of the writers of these novels it doesn’t reflect that. I tend to think it’s because people really know the truth inside; In the current framework, with mankind at the helm, a utopia cannot exist. It’s been proven—not in just novels, but by history—that when we try to eliminate the negative elements of society they just end up taking on a different form, and even becoming worse. It ends up being an inescapable truth: mankind can’t live in a heaven of his own making.

…Let’s go deeper

How do two different people look at the same picture and see a completely different image? The image is the same regardless of who sees it, right? Well, it’s true that the image is the same, but it’s a well-known truth that our perceptions aren’t. The use of the Rorschach test proves this is the case. This is the psychology test using inkblots which reveal our perceptions and how we see things. We see things largely based on our worldview. Different things color our worldview, and our worldview colors everything else.

Some people are unimpressed by anything. They don’t see anything as particularly remarkable, or spectacular. It’s just a never-ending reel of everything happening just as they expected it. If you see things this way then it strips your life of any wonder. There’s a certain part of that child-like wonder that should stay with you throughout adulthood. Unfortunately, some people lose it, or they willingly let go of it. If you have no wonder or curiosity then you stop searching for answers to meaningful questions. In a sense, I think losing your sense of wonder is kind of like giving up. You’ve resigned to a life of the mundane because you have given up on ever discovering anything new and exciting. Some like to pretend to be unimpressed by anything in order to appear to know everything. But they’re only fooling themselves.
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The other way to see life is to approach it with an excitement over what the future holds for you. You cling to that sense of wonder like it’s the fuel driving you forward. It’s not an optional aspect of your life, but a necessary ingredient. You don’t apologize for your sense of awe at the world you live in. On the contrary, you rely on it because without it life would lose its flavor. If you think about it, seeing the world without any sense of wonder and awe is kind of the textbook definition of depression; it’s when nothing excites you anymore. When I look at people whose worldview is one of pure naturalism, I can’t help but think this is how they must see the world. They tend to think that all of this amazing world we see and experience just transpired on its own—like it’s nothing really spectacular. It’s just what we would expect to happen if things were left to themselves. They are like people standing outside a magic show sending away the people who still have a sense of awe and wonder and saying, “Keep moving along people. Nothing to see here.”

Albert Einstein once said, “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.” I have to say, the latter view seems more reasonable to me. I know its really easy to begin taking things for granted. You begin to live life as though everything is just expected. But when you take a step back and really see it for what it is, I bet you’ll gain a different perspective. You’ll begin to see that you’re living in the midst of an amazing miracle. And if you don’t wake up and see it, you might miss it.

…Let’s go deeper