Author: Bradley Kallas

Context reigns supreme on the journey to true understanding. What do I mean? Well, you can understand something by itself, but if you don’t understand it in the right context then you don’t have a full understanding of it. You could look at a night star through your telescope. You gain a clearer and clearer understanding the closer you look at that star. You become so confident as you come to learn more about that star. However, without widening your gaze and understanding its cosmic environment, you don’t really understand that star.

The world we live in today is interesting to observe. There’s a belief that has pervaded our consciousness as a society that morals are all relative. The general belief goes something like this: I may not be perfect, but I’m better than most people. I’m better than my neighbor across the street. I do pretty well. Therefore, I’m the definition of a good person. Sounds reasonable on its own, right? But here’s the problem: How do we know that’s the standard? And who ever told us that’s the standard?

Picture this. You’re on a cruise ship with thousands of other passengers. You are on the very top deck—the first class suite. You’re the king of the world—as Leonardo DiCaprio declared in the movie Titanic. But say, for instance, you were actually on the Titanic and you didn’t realize it. Then someone comes and tells you the boat is sinking. Disconcerting news, for sure. But not to worry, you’re on the top of the ship. It’s a long ways before the water reaches your deck. Besides, they can probably stop the leak before it even gets that far. But as time passes the ship continues to sink. The water gets closer and closer to your deck. It’s announced that the ship can’t be saved and everyone has to abandon ship. Everyone has to board the lifeboat. But you refuse. You think, “This ship can’t possibly sink. Besides, I paid for a first class ticket.” As you sit there in your First Class suite, you watch as the water slowly starts rushing in. Suddenly, you realize that your refusal to recognize the situation for what it is has led to your demise.
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If your context is limited, or if you retain the wrong context, you’re going to miss a very important piece of the puzzle. If you use relative moral behavior as your standard and, in this case, the levels of each person’s morals are represented by the levels on that ship, then that standard is irrelevant. Because whether you’re on the bottom of that ship, or on the top, that ship is going down. If your understanding of morals are limited to only those on that ship, then you’re going to miss the entire context of the situation. Your understanding misses the fact that there’s a lifeboat waiting to rescue you from that sinking ship. You might think it’s a foolish analogy because no one in their right mind would do that on a sinking ship. I would agree that the response is foolish, but not the analogy. The analogy actually plays out. It only appears foolish because the response is foolish. People make this decision all the time without realizing it. Unfortunately, the fact remains: Sometimes you have to illustrate the absurd by being absurd.

…Let’s go deeper

I was thinking about my pursuit to increase my base of knowledge and I realized something: As much knowledge as there is available today, it seems that much harder to get to the real truth of any matter. You would think with the massive amounts of information now available that it would become so much easier to learn something new. But in many ways, it seems quite the opposite, because for every truth you find, it’s like you can just as easily find 10 untruths about the same thing.

Today, with the rise of the internet we have, at our fingertips, an entire world of information. The answer to any little question I might have is really just a click away through a simple internet search. In fact, the search results you get in response can be overwhelming. Along with the question I just asked comes another question: Which answer do I click on? Our delight to know the answer can be offset in being overwhelmed with responses. We may end up thinking, “Sorry I asked.” We may wonder: Of all these sources, how many are credible? The reality is, anyone can create their own website now days—me included. But how many of them are reliable?

The same goes for publishing. Virtually, anyone can get a book published today. No longer do we need to go through the means of a standard publishing house. Everything is wide open now, and the barriers are off. As a side note—I’m not sure that’s always a good thing. It seems that publishers do provide a valuable service. In a sense, they are like a clearing house to weed out a worthy author from someone who is just writing as a hobby. It’s really difficult to write a good book. And you don’t have to go too far to realize that there are already plenty of books in the world. One trip to Barnes and Noble will make you see that. I even find myself wondering sometimes, “Who reads all these books?”
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In the midst of this glut of information, it seems that the quantity of information available doesn’t satisfy. Because with quantity comes a general lack of quality. It’s like eating a large quantity of low quality food; it not only can make you sick, but it doesn’t fill you up either. And it’s easier to obfuscate the truth with a smokescreen of error. It may not be that most people are deliberately trying to deceive. They might actually think they know, but they only think they know without really knowing.

I guess I make the distinction between information and knowledge. Information, to me, is just raw data that is available out there. Some of it may be true; some of it may not be true. Knowledge is the actual truth, and the knowing of that truth. That’s what makes coming to the truth such a challenge. The ironic part is that sometimes too much information can actually impede our progress to the truth.

…Let’s go deeper

Have you ever seen someone frantically working to get something accomplished but, in their effort to work, you look on in amazement and can’t help thinking to yourself, “They look like they’re just spinning their wheels.” I know I’ve noticed that from time to time. I have to admit, I’ve even done it myself. Our efforts to accomplish what we think is the task at hand is admirable, even though it is sometimes misguided. The truly important gets pushed aside sometimes for the only seemingly important.

You’ve probably heard the metaphor from time to time: ‘rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic’. It’s the classic metaphor for useless pursuits. What it really means is that your endeavor is not worth the effort you’re putting into it. To paraphrase the statement: ‘Why are you putting so much effort into something that isn’t going to make any difference?’ The point is the ship is going down and you need to do something that’s really going to help the people on the ship. While rearranging the deck chairs was not something people actually did in this instance, it does provide a valuable bit of visual imagery about the absurdity of the idea. Of course, the most prudent course of action would be to man and load the lifeboats. Which, thankfully, many people did.

However, on the other hand, you had the eight-member band which kept playing throughout all the mayhem on the imminently sinking ship. The story is told of how after it was announced that the ship was sinking that the band kept playing during the effort to abandon ship. Starting in the First Class lounge, they later moved out onto the boat deck and continued playing there. All this, in an effort to keep the passengers calm. While this sounds like a worthy goal, I have my doubts as to whether it was truly effective. Regardless, the statement, ‘…and the band played on’, has become something of its own metaphor for doing nothing in the face of tragedy.
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What a dichotomy of responses to the same event, yet producing wholly the same result. One, so worried that their actions—a result of their panic—in doing something, act out of fear thinking that it was better than doing nothing at all; the other, doing virtually nothing of use, but something you would spend a Saturday evening doing in relaxation, make an effort to lull people to sleep like everything was OK. Sometimes absurdity is the best illustrator.

Those things we do on a daily basis—it’s sometimes good to take an inventory of whether we are working towards a worthy goal. We can, unwittingly, be like the one ‘rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic’ until we stop to think about it. Conversely, we can also be like the band members acting like nothing’s wrong. To avoid those two responses, I need to ask myself, “What’s really important here, and what’s going to matter for my future and for those around me?”

…Let’s go deeper

We’re a people of contradictions. To say we’re complex would be understating the matter. We don’t even understand ourselves, much less other people. Those things we think we know, we often don’t. Those things we don’t know, we rarely admit to not knowing. One could say we’re merely confused to simplify the matter. But if that were the case the solution would be simple. If confusion were our only condition we could at least know we are confused and then embark on a clearer understanding. It appears it runs much deeper than that. It seems our contradictions not only possess a duality of purpose but also double-ness of mind. But what happens in the midst of this duality?

The inconsistency in our lives is rarely better represented than by our pursuit of appearances. We buy things we don’t like to impress people we don’t know with money we don’t have. And though we may have a considerable amount of wealth, we spend like we’re filthy rich, which gives an outward appearance of opulence and, yet, in conversation talk as though we have nothing. And really this is just touching the surface of our conflicting pursuits. If we really want to delve deeper, we need to understand our motives in order to get to the root of it all. But are we willing to do this work? Do we really want to dig that deep to see what’s down there? Better, maybe, to keep the roots covered up with that nice green grass than to see the true structure of that unsightly root system.

We get in the habit of thinking that we can only work at cross-purposes with other people, and never consider the possibility that we might be working at cross-purposes with ourselves. The questions we have ready and waiting to ask others miss their true utility when not asking them about ourselves. Of course, our natural tendency is one where we avoid doing the hard work. But what would happen if we embarked on this journey of self-discovery. Certainly, we would find some things we didn’t like. But would that be such a bad thing? It’s our aversion to seeing ourselves as we truly are that precludes us from becoming what we could be. The change can’t happen unless I know a change needs to be made. So, where to begin?
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One thing apparent in our journey of self-discovery is that, in order to get to where we want to go, we first have to understand where we currently are. And, honestly, it takes courage for true honesty with ourselves. It’s not for the faint of heart. It does take insight into self, and it does take patience with oneself, to get to the heart of the matter. But the pain of self-discovery is overshadowed by the delight of truly discovering self. Don’t feel dejected while on this journey on which you are about to embark. Know that you are on a journey of a less travelled road. Few have endeavored to walk this narrow path. Though it may come through a vale of tears, the results it brings are beyond compare.

…Let’s go deeper

Just think of what can happen when you get two or three people together to agree on something. Most meetings take place with plenty of people, just not enough that agree on anything. You might have 30 people, but along with those 30 people you have 30 different ideas. A meeting with lots of people contending for their own ideas ends up not being a meeting, but a brawl.

Many times it’s clear that what we’re doing when we gather is working against each other instead of for each other—or with each other. Differing ideas are OK, but differing agendas are not. In all honesty, someone who comes to a gathering of people for their own purposes might as well not even bother. If they aren’t there to propel an idea forward for the sake of that group instead of trying to promote their own personal motives then they are there for the wrong reasons. It’s those who put their efforts together to work for a common and worthy goal that end up accomplishing the most.

Two guys, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, had an idea—unorthodox and novel in its execution. Both students at Stanford University, they came together—while antagonistic at first—they bounced ideas off each other and, somehow, both came to see the benefit of their back-and-forth debate. They were drawn to one another and one another’s ideas. And each sharpened the ideas of the other. The idea which started off as an idea for Larry’s Doctoral thesis grew into a search engine and eventually became known as Google. Later, Sergey, was brought into the idea, offering his mathematical expertise to incorporate a unique algorithm. They’re new search engine worked off backlinks. By finding out what links a web page was linked to they were able to rank the pages importance. Each link was also ranked according to the number of links related to it. Also, the number of links into each linking site were taken into account. Hereby, they were able to return search results that were not only ranked the highest but were also the most relevant. Compared to other search engines, this was far superior—bringing results that were often irrelevant to the topic. Its obvious utility brought their web search to prominence and eventually dominating the market.
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While it’s easy to become encumbered in our own ego and ideas, what we miss out in these misguided efforts to promote self are the benefits of propelling an idea forward as a united front. While these two certainly had their own ideas about things they didn’t let that cripple them or distract them from the endgame or purpose they had in mind. It was a true meeting of the minds, but it was a meeting for a common purpose. Debate is OK, and wresting over ideas is OK, but if you don’t have a united purpose then it’s not going to be a constructive meeting.

…Let’s go deeper

Labels are now the new definitions. Truth doesn’t matter so much anymore as what appears to be true. Those things that get pinned on others, regardless of their merit, tend to become the new truth. And perception is king. But what happens when perception rules the day? What happens when there no longer is any interest in what is, and all interest becomes focused on how things appear?

Those perceptions we so often cling to have an annoying persistence of being proven wrong. The thing we see and want to be true doesn’t obey the force of our will. We want to label other people in certain ways because it has a way of validating ourselves. But you can’t mislabel the other person without, in the process, mislabeling yourself. This is the crux of the matter. Reality and definitions have a way of piercing through all the noise. We can live in a state of denial if we want. We can make up whatever we want, but that still doesn’t make it true.

Having standards now is labeled as being hateful, judgmental, and close-minded. You can’t declare what is right and wrong to someone else because what is right for you might not be right for them. So we now live by our own set of 10 commandments. What those commandments might be, only we ourselves know.
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This is where the mixture of labels and definitions gets confusing. Labels have taken over as our new definitions. But while labels can have little basis in fact, definitions do. Definitions are a third party standard about what is true. There is no negotiating it, or changing it. Something is what it is regardless of how we perceive it.

Making the statement, “There is no objective truth”, is actually a self-defeating argument. While some attempt to make the argument, the perception of sounding right comes unraveled when it comes face-to-face with reality. To make an absolute statement of things that there are no absolutes circles back on itself and refutes the initial claim. You have just invalidated your argument about absolutes by making an absolute claim, yourself. Unwittingly, you have made your initial statement false. And also, unwittingly, you have made a claim for absolute truth.

What happens in a world where we all become what we want to be and no one becomes what they ought to be? Is there nothing to aspire to anymore? Is that our standard now? While individuality matters, and creativity matters, it doesn’t give us the right to re-create our own dictionary. It doesn’t grant us the right to create our own reality—as though we even could. What we’re really trying to do in this—without outright declaring it—is become our own god. Each one of us sitting on the throne of or own individual kingdom. The only declarations we follow are the ones we declare ourselves. And what we’re creating is our own little world—a small world. For in a world where I am king, what a small kingdom it is.

…Let’s go deeper

Money is necessary. Money is needed. Money is an essential component of our everyday lives. It’s funny how we have to spend all of our lives pursuing money, while at the same time, pretend like we’re not pursuing money. We seem to feel conflicted about it. It’s like we have a love-hate relationship with money. Chase after too much of it, you’re labeled as greedy; chase after too little of it, you’re living in your parents basement and working at Starbucks. It’s something we’re all looking to gain more of, but society frowns upon when we have it. So, what are we supposed to do with money?

As the saying goes, “Money makes the world go around”. This is actually true, in a sense. It’s an essential part of our economy. Without money, our economy would grind to a halt. We have it invested in our 401K plans at work, in individual stocks in the market, and most generally, in our homes that we live in every day. Our jobs are just a medium through which we feed these investment animals. These monsters eat up as much of it as they can and do us the courtesy of letting us live off the rest. And the goal is always to maximize returns and minimize losses. A pretty understandable goal.
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As we go along in this mad race for financial gain, it’s not just the look of disgust cast by others that fuels this conflict we have. We also have our own sense of guilt about it. We want to have the freedom to better our situation without feeling like we’re money-grubbing robber barons. We get this picture in our minds of being like Mr. Potter from the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life. He played the evil villain who tried to gain as much wealth as he could at everyone else’s expense. As soon as we get on the track to financial success we can easily start to wonder if we’ve become like this guy sitting behind his desk, smoking a cigar, and laughing uncontrollably as he counts his pile of cash. Our mind shudders at the thought and we immediately draw back. We think to ourselves, “Living a life of poverty is better than being like that guy”. Definitely true. Pursuing wealth at the expense of everything else would inevitably lead to an empty life. But even the consummate good guy, George Bailey, wanted money, and even needed money (the 8000 dollars to keep his Building and Loan going).

But how do we resolve this? I think what gets lost in this conflict we have with money is the real issue at hand. What feeds this conflict is a misunderstanding of our relationship to money. Neither the pursuit of money, or lack, thereof, is right. It’s our relationship to it that matters. The challenge isn’t in pursuing more money, or less money. It’s in the condition of my heart while I pursue those things. If I make those things my be-all and end-all, then I don’t have a right relationship to money. If I realize that money is just a tool—a vehicle—that can be used for good purposes, and that I’m pursuing money with those truly important components of life as my ultimate goal—and consideration for others—then my relationship to money is a healthy one. It’s not that money doesn’t matter. It matters. It’s just a matter of ‘why’ it matters.

…Let’s go deeper

Having someone in your corner can be invaluable to your success. I haven’t always realized that. I used to think you had to just make it all on your own—against all odds. I mean, sometimes we have to walk a lonely path. We have to do many things on our own, but knowing that there’s someone who’s on your side and cheering for you can be an essential part of reaching our goals.

My High School years that I spent in wrestling were a good learning experience for me. I learned about perseverance, fear, success, and teamwork. But it is unique amongst many other sports. Although you’re on a team, it’s still a very individual sport. There’s no one out there on the mat physically helping you to win: It’s just you and the other guy. At times, this can be an overwhelming feeling. There’s no one else to look to. If you fail, it’s all on you.

I guess that makes having people who support you that much more important. I have to admit, when on the wrestling team, I sometimes wondered if the cheerleaders really needed to be there. Not to denigrate cheerleaders, but the practical side of me would kick in sometimes. I would sometimes think, “Do they really need to be here.” I didn’t always realize the importance of it at the time. And it could be that I took it for granted that my family was there to cheer me on. I had a support group, of sorts. I guess I see it a little differently now. Now I wonder about those who didn’t have that family support or close friends to cheer them on. I think about how that would feel to be out there all on your own with no one really supporting you.
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I think having that small group right next to the mat cheering your name and letting you know you’re not alone can be invaluable. Even if you did have family and friends there to support you, you couldn’t always hear them way up in the stands. But something about that group of cheerleaders and teammates right there next to you was important. You knew that they were in your corner and that they supported you. Sometimes you just need that voice telling you to get up. You know you need to do it, but something about having that other person tell you makes you believe that you can.

It’s rarely obvious the impact that an encouraging word can have on someone else. The effect is internal, so that its results are often hidden. But that doesn’t mean it’s not important. You may never hear it from them—and they might not even fully realize it themselves—but that person you encouraged and made to feel important were strengthened by your support. If they had no one else to be their cheerleader, at least you were.

…Let’s go deeper

 

A common misconception that we sometimes have is that living the perfect life would be great. If we just went through and did everything exactly right we think that would be the ultimate form of living. We would have no regrets, nothing to look back on in disgust, and of course none of the consequences that come with those mistakes. We think of what an utopian existence this would be.

Of course, we would also have nothing to learn from. We wouldn’t know what new path to pursue because the previous path hadn’t worked. We would never be compelled to pursue a better path because the one before seemed to work just fine. It would inevitably keep us on the path of sameness. We would never be propelled forward and, thus, society would never be propelled forward.

I’ve often wondered what makes the United States such a successful country. There are a number of things. But one of those things, I believe, is that culture of innovation. It’s that nurturing of new ideas and, along with that, allowing people the freedom to make mistakes. You can have an idea you pursue and, if it doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. We are given room for failure. A financial catastrophe isn’t punished with debtor’s prison anymore. A person can file for bankruptcy if their idea goes down in a ball of flames. Some people think of bankruptcy as a wholly bad idea. Certainly, it can be taken advantage of. But one of the things it allows is for people to set out into uncharted territory to try a new idea. A bunch of people doing this together eventually leads to some successful ideas. This is what constantly pushes the boundaries and is a part of the process of finding out what works.
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I saw a scientist being interviewed. And in the interview he was being asked what he thought about the recent SpaceX rocket that exploded. His response was somewhat surprising. He responded by saying that he thought it was a good thing. He thought it was good because it means that they were pushing the boundaries. His defining statement was, “If you’re an entity that never makes mistakes, you’re not on the frontier.” A profound statement, to be sure.

I think we too easily undermine the value of mistakes. Although we don’t like to make them, they do have their purpose. Those mistakes you made in the past were only the stepping stones to your success. That debris of what you thought was a flaming heap of your own destruction helped form the base of knowledge that eventually allowed you step up to the next level. Of course, no one ever looks back and thinks, “If only I had made more mistakes.” We don’t make them on purpose. But we move forward with the courage of knowing that if a mistake happens it’s not the end of the world. The mistake that happened wasn’t all for naught. It wasn’t all for naught because, from it, I learned how I could move forward.

…Let’s go deeper

 

I like the idea of fall. Of all the seasons, I like fall the best. I know a lot of people might find that strange. They probably like Spring or Summer, but Fall certainly wouldn’t be in their top two. But I think there are a lot of things I like about fall. There are the leaves changing color, slightly cooler temperatures (sweatshirt weather), and all the things that it leads up to.

What we have as an emotional response to something isn’t always readily apparent as to ‘why’. I have to examine it mentally to figure out the reason I’m fond of this time of year. What I’ve realized is that, mostly, my excitement over autumn is really based on anticipation. There’s an excitement that starts small and builds as you get into the succeeding months. Maybe it’s the leaves changing color that signals that something’s about to happen—that something’s about to change. First, you have the excitement of the Thanksgiving Holiday. Often, family gets together at this time for a big meal and just a time to be thankful for all that we have. The excitement prior to this Holiday builds for me as the time gets closer, but it’s spread out over a longer period of time. Then, when it comes you’re excited, but that excitement isn’t fully based on just that culmination of events. You’re excited because there’s more to come. There’s the Christmas Holiday, which—this season—even precedes and follows Thanksgiving anymore. But now the excitement is condensed and ramps up as the time draws closer. Christmas Day is only a month away.
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This is the ultimate culmination of events. This is what everything is leading up to—this day celebrating the birth of Christ over 2000 years ago. Everyone celebrates this day even if they’re not sure as to why they celebrate it. But for me, it’s the anticipation and excitement of this day that fuels my joy for a good portion of the year. And this excitement is even further highlighted by the letdown that follows. I would, historically, become down in response to this big buildup of events, and then there was nothing to follow. I’ve realized, though, that the excitement and anticipation don’t have to end with the season. That season is really a state of mind and heart that are a personal choice. That season was meant to be a constant season of the heart. This time leading up to the Christmas Holiday, and then the time following—It was a contrast of choices. I could either be excited in anticipation of what’s to come, or I could be down and dejected because I felt like everything good was now in the past. Which would it be? Which would I choose? Whether it’s January or July, I have the freedom to choose what season I want it to be. I have the freedom to live in excited anticipation of what lies in front of me. I can even have Christmas in July, at least in my heart.

…Let’s go deeper