Author: Bradley Kallas

I am a purposeful person. I try to do things that have a lasting value and not just fritter away my time. I want to make sure that I am using my time wisely, since it is such a precious resource. However, I also see the value in making room for things of lesser importance, even things that are meaningless or mundane.

I have a rough schedule in my mind that I follow for each and every day. I follow it to a degree, but I don’t try to be so tied to it that I don’t enjoy my life. One thing I’ve realized is that I can still be productive and make room for the things that I enjoy. I’m thankful for that because going from one waking moment to the next, and being booked to the gills with scheduled activities is a recipe for burnout. Some of us try to maintain this type of schedule. But I would say the inevitable result is you go from one day to the next and eventually you will find the joy slowly being sucked from your life. So doing those things we just enjoy doing for the sake of doing are good because it’s part of what life is about. These things aren’t just to avoid burnout, but realizing that life is meant to be enjoyed.

Some things are worth doing just for the joy of doing. They can also serve a number of other purposes. They are often a diversion from thinking about the problems and issues of the day. Whether we realize it or not, our minds need a break from all of this stuff. The constant churning of data through your brain is sometimes counter-productive. Sometimes you hit a wall and trying to break through that problem isn’t going to happen like that. Sometimes you find that when you break away for a bit, the solution ends up presenting itself. It can take that little break from the pressure to bring a result.
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I also think those things that we enjoy doing, and give our minds a break, also produce a healthier person with a healthier mind. The things that seemingly have no value in themselves can end up making us stronger. It may seem like something of a paradox. But the results often speak for themselves.

Making time for those things I enjoy has allowed me to slow down. It has allowed me to be less hurried. It has also allowed me to keep perspective. If all my time is spent only on matters of importance, then they often appear more important than they really are. Keeping perspective keeps me from getting ahead of myself. It allows me to stay in step with life at a certain pace. So, maybe the meaningless and mundane isn’t so meaningless and mundane.

…Let’s go deeper

Sometimes we can think we know what to do, but we’re still not quite sure. It’s almost a slam dunk, but we still can’t see it quite clearly. I think that’s what clarity is—seeing clearly what you already believe to be true. We can have a good idea about our direction, but we like to hold off until we can be sure.

If I were going to use a metaphor, I guess the most obvious thing I can think of is when your windshield is kind of dirty, so that you can mostly make out what you’re seeing, but there’s still some doubt. It’s kind of like, “I think that’s a stop sign up ahead, or is it a yield sign? I’m not quite sure.” Making the distinction is just a matter of cleaning your windshield. But knowing that distinction can make all the difference in the world.

This is what happens sometimes with the decisions we have to make. Sometimes the clarity we’re looking for comes with time, sometimes it comes with more information, and sometimes it comes from finding the right person. I can think of a number of times where I had an idea of what I should do, but the certainty of doing that thing didn’t come until it was confirmed to me by someone else. You could say that person provided clarity for me. You could call it clarity by confirmation, I guess.

Other times I had an idea about what I should do, but I just needed more information. As a result, I searched for additional information. I studied as much as I found relevant to the topic. I put all of the data together and came to a conclusion that I could comfortably act upon. The additional information gave me the confidence to move forward with the choice that I already believed to be correct.
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Then there were occasions when I didn’t need to consult someone else, and I didn’t need more information. Sometimes I just needed time to consider the information I already had. I already had everything I needed, I just needed the time to mull over the information to feel comfortable with my decision. This is probably the case more often than not. It’s just a matter of doing a full analysis of what you already know.

Regardless of the method to gain clarity, its importance can easily be underestimated. Going through life doubting everything you do would be a painful existence. You have to move forward with some degree of certainty. Because when you’re half-certain about something, you’re also half-invested in that thing. In order to go whole-heartedly after any endeavor you have to be convinced that it’s a worthy pursuit. So, maybe you already know what you should do. You’re just lacking that one thing to get you to move forward—you’re just lacking clarity.

…Let’s go deeper

Giving the proper credit for some accomplishment isn’t something we think about a lot. At least, I don’t. It just seems like a no-brainer. If someone does something worthy of note, we just inherently seem to know we should recognize that. If you win the Super Bowl, of course, you say, “Yeah, good job. Way to go! Here’s your enormous trophy.”

We seem to have awards for everything. You get awards for not just sporting events, but Nobel prizes, awards for literature, medals of Honor, etc. All of which represent worthy achievements, mostly. It’s good to recognize those who have sacrificed something of themselves for the sake of others. In today’s climate, however, we are giving awards for just showing up—awards for participation. Showing up is good, I guess, but it’s not much of an achievement. I mean, I show up for work every day, but no one gives me an award. It seems this is aimed more at the younger kids. It’s an attempt to curb any hurt feelings over not winning at something. But that also curbs the drive to win at something, doesn’t it? Hmmm? Guess they never thought of that. I guess it’s that drive for equality. Anyway, I’m getting onto a different subject now

The reality is that some things we are able to achieve are recognized, while others are not. I would say that most major accomplishments are recognized in life. There are things, however, where we do something above and beyond and nobody else realizes it, or knows it. We don’t always get credit for these things. It kind of hurts when that happens. It makes you feel kind of unwanted, because if no one recognizes you even when you do something great, would they even recognize you at all? It makes you feel like you don’t even exist. And I would say if no one acknowledges you for your greatness, you would at least like them to acknowledge your existence. We all want to be significant. I think it’s an inherent desire we all have. We would like to matter in some way.
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In taking this line of thinking a bit further, I thought to myself, “If I feel this way, I wonder how God feels when people don’t recognize Him?” In reality, many people don’t recognize His existence, much less all the things He’s done. Think how you would feel—you created the whole universe, and everything in it, and people go on about their day as though you’re not even there. It’s not that God would want us to feel sorry for Him. But I believe He is looking for the truth to be revealed and lived out in our everyday lives. He is looking for us to go through our day with enough humility to recognize that we can’t do anything that He doesn’t allow, and to recognize that we can’t truly do anything that matters without His help.

…Let’s go deeper

We fear what we don’t understand. That seems to be a fact of life. That’s why ignorance can be such a dangerous thing. It’s especially true when you don’t understand someone else’s perspective. Perspective matters—and knowledge about that perspective can make all the difference in the world.

It’s interesting the things we feared when we were kids simply because of what we didn’t know or understand. The monsters we were convinced were living under our bed became a non-issue when we grew old enough to understand that it just simply wasn’t true. We had learned enough about reality to dispel any of our unfounded fears. Of course those fears are often replaced by new fears as we grow older. It’s safe to say, though, that those fears are also ones that we can overcome with a proper understanding of things. Someone who fears water can overcome that fear by learning how to swim. What they once feared has now become a source of enjoyment. They don’t fear the water, but now they respect it. The same could be said of the person who has no knowledge of sailing. They would be afraid if someone just sent them out on their own with no knowledge about what they are doing. But once properly trained and given the skills, they go out, unencumbered, and face the ocean without fear. What they once feared, they now have a healthy respect for.

The same goes for people. We sometimes fear other people, or other types of people, simply because we don’t understand them. We don’t have any understanding of them and their perspectives. We don’t know where they’re coming from. We can especially see this being the case in the political arena—two sides spouting off at each other with no attempt at understanding the basis for the other’s policies. Maybe if they just tried to explain their viewpoints instead of fighting about which one is better there would be more understanding of what they’re dealing with. They could hand one another a Power Point presentation of their ideas instead of shooting of insults and getting distracted by other side issues. I know that won’t happen, but one can dream. It just appears to me that no one leaves a discussion with viewpoints any different than the ones they came in with. It’s especially the case when you are too focused on defending your own positions to listen to someone else.
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Knowledge displacing fear comes with the inherent understanding that the knowledge we attain is truth. We can learn a lot of things, but if it’s all a bunch of gobbledygook nonsense, then it’s not the same thing. The things we learn have to be based on actual truth in order to dispel, or displace, fear. Truth has that power. Once you know it, you don’t have to be afraid any more.

…Let’s go deeper

What I fear we are often doing with our lives, we do without realizing it. What we do through routine and familiarity are done as a somewhat unconscious act. There’s little thought given, because there’s little thought required. It’s what you call a ‘no-brainer’. These kinds of things can make us feel safe, but they don’t contribute much as far making us engage in life. So, we are going through life, for all intents and purposes, asleep.

Living an intentional life can take more effort than we’re sometimes comfortable with. When we find ourselves really living life is when we are right on the edge of our comfort zone. It’s so easy to do the things we’ve always done, and get into this everyday schedule without ever breaking out of it. Routines are great. They can help us stay on course and on a specific schedule. But the danger we face with these same routines is that they don’t challenge us to do anything different. They can actually lull us to sleep mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If we aren’t stepping outside of the familiar, then we aren’t challenging ourselves either.

Unfortunately, I think what often happens is some kind of problem has to come along to get us to wake out of our slumber. We are sometimes forced to do what we won’t take the initiative to do ourselves. For example, we may not have the greatest people skills. It’s something we know we should work on. But when faced with the opportunity for a sales position, we are left unprepared. Now we have to work on it ‘on the fly’ and we are behind the curve. The skills I could have been developing all along, I now have to develop in a hurry.

That’s just an example. The main idea, though, is to be constantly challenging ourselves in some way. It seems what we don’t force ourselves to do, life has a way of eventually doing for us. But it’s best not to wait for a situation to present itself that forces us out of our box. We can get out of the box on our own.
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This is how we can often go through life ‘asleep’ without realizing it. It’s kind of like sleep-walking through life. You’re going through the motions, but you’re not engaged in anything. I think it happens more easily than we realize, especially as a person gets older and has a family. The demands placed on us from the outside dictate to us, and also contribute to being placed inside a box. You can start to become what you believe other people think you should be. But a person can still challenge themselves within the context of the life they live. The challenges we face actually help us become better. We can’t become better if we’re asleep. I would say the degree to which we are awake, is the degree to which we are engaged.

…Let’s go deeper

 

What becomes easy also becomes boring. It also doesn’t challenge us. It doesn’t challenge us to become better—better in our occupation, better in our hobbies, and just better people in general. Those who are committed to improving themselves are also committed to setting goals for their future. They always have something in mind that they want to achieve, no matter how much success they have achieved already.

Our record of achievement is also a record of much of the life we lived. The positives we will want to take away, and talk about from our history, will mostly be the ones where we accomplished something. Just ask any candidate running for President. Just kidding. But actually, it’s true. Those are the things that will define much of the direction of our life. If we’re not at the point of achieving one of our life goals, then we’re in the process of trying to achieve those things. Anyone who isn’t setting goals to achieve, no matter how small or insignificant, isn’t moving forward with their life. And anyone who isn’t moving forward in life isn’t really living. That’s known as stagnation. This striving, this scraping and clawing, this constant effort to attain something admirable is what a life well lived is about. The things we set out to accomplish, and did successfully, will be the things we want to remember.

Much of trying to get to our goals is met with failure. So, we’re always flirting with this line. This edge of failure is what we’re trying not to cross while trying to push the envelope of success. But many times in the process we go over that line and meet failure face-to-face. That’s just a part of the process. But that isn’t meant to discourage our constant effort to succeed. It’s just a way to learn how to succeed. Adapting and adjusting our approach allows us to avoid the same mistakes and give us the opportunity for success.
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I think as humans we are geared this way. We want to set out to do something and see if we can get there. It’s something ingrained in us. But all of this is a moot point if there isn’t a foundation in place. And that foundation gets to the heart of why we’re doing the things we do. Is our effort, and striving to attain, for the purposes of personal glory? Are we just trying to get that next thing, that next level of success, to place another brick on the monument of ‘me’. That seems appealing at first, doesn’t it? But will it be as fulfilling as we think? Maybe our foundation should be something different. Maybe our purpose should be something eternal, and not for just the ‘here and now’. And, maybe, the glory isn’t something we’re really looking for, or that is really meant for us.

…Let’s go deeper

 

I’m currently reading through the epic novel ‘Les Miserables’. It’s a daunting read. However, one of the parts of this story stood out to me. If you’re not familiar with the story, it’s a story of redemption about an ex-convict who turns his life around, becoming a benevolent leader of a community. He is then forced to leave the community due to the minor infraction of parole violation. The results of his absence are described in this story by Victor Hugo. This lead character’s name is Jean Valjean.

While Jean Valjean was in this community, he was mayor and also the owner of a local tile factory. His acts of kindness and fairness were widely known, even in areas that extended well beyond this town. It was his leadership and benevolence that contributed much to the prosperity, tone, and atmosphere of this area. Following his absence, the author describes the state of this town as becoming a dank, dark place. The prosperity was gone, there was little care or concern among the population for one another, taxes had to be doubled to compensate for the stagnation of the local economy. It became a place where it was basically ‘every man for himself’. The contrast described because of the absence of this one person was stark, to say the least. You wonder how one person’s presence, or absence, can make this kind of difference.

What’s described in this novel by Victor Hugo has really repeated itself throughout history. It’s not a scenario we can’t relate to or find in our current day. One person in a position of leadership has the chance to act in a way to so impact a people that their actions permeate through the entire culture. See, it wasn’t just this lead character’s efforts as a businessman, or the wise decisions he made that was so powerful in shaping this community. Probably the single greatest impact he made was his example in the way he treated people. You could see the author describe the difference in people’s attitudes once he was gone. They had an example who showed them how to act towards one another. He showed them how to treat people with decency, and also how it allowed this town to prosper and flourish. But once that example was gone the attitude of those people changed. It was almost like they had forgotten anything they had seen before.
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We see these stories in real life today. Are the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers the same without Tom Osborne as head coach? Is Apple the same without Steve Jobs? But I think the one quality great leaders all have in common is they know this one thing: You can’t just tell people what they should do, you have to be willing to show them what they should do. The greatest leaders are the ones who lead by example.

…Let’s go deeper

 

Sacrifice is always seen in a negative light—not the end results of sacrifice, but the sacrifice itself. We could all agree that the results of our sacrifice are desirable. Sacrifice in our work yields a paycheck, sacrifice in our comfort yields the benefits of exercise, and sacrificing the foods we want to eat yields a healthier lifestyle. But what about sacrifices themselves? Is there any joy in these things?

I would say if we ignore the joy in the effort itself, and only see the joy in the end result, we’re robbing ourselves of something important. Sometimes there’s a delight we have over just doing something for someone else. The effort we make costs us something. Whether it costs us physical energy or money, we can take pride in the fact that it’s of value to someone else. That thing we do often holds value precisely because it costs us something. I think these things are especially valuable to us when they are done for a spouse. We don’t even mind the sacrifice because of the love behind the act. That’s the underlying reason for the sacrifice—love. Maybe that’s the true test of love. Some would do something for another person if it doesn’t cost them anything. But how many of us will do something for another when there is a sacrifice involved—if it costs us some time, some energy, or some money?

There is a way to say, “I love you.” Then there is a way to show it. Anybody can say it, but fewer still will show it. And the toughest time to do this is when it’s for a total stranger. One could give sacrificially to someone they personally know and love. Most people can understand this. However, giving when it costs you something to a stranger is a little more difficult to do. This is the type of act by a person about whom people will often make the comment, “He would give you the shirt off his back.” That’s often the person who understands thinking of another person’s need before themselves.
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It’s really easy to overlook the person on the side of the road fixing a flat tire, or having car trouble of some kind, and just keep right on going. We have places to go and a schedule to keep. But if we do decide to stop and help, that’s part of the sacrifice, isn’t it. Helping the stranded stranger does cost us something besides our physical effort. Many times we have to give up something in order to help someone else. It costs something to offer assistance. Someone has to pay the price. We just have to make a choice about whether we are willing to pay the price. Sometimes when we decide against helping the down and out we are really robbing ourselves. We are robbing ourselves of the joy of sacrifice.

…Let’s go deeper

The things we trust others with don’t tend to receive the amount of attention we would give them ourselves. And, definitely, when it comes to trusting the experts, we would like to think they have our best interests in mind, and some additional knowledge that we don’t possess ourselves. Certainly expert advice should be taken seriously. But I would say it should only be taken seriously up until the point they no longer make sense.

When you look at the experts in any field, they are only labeled as such because they have advanced degrees in that field with the subsequent random letters following their name, possibly preceded by other letters like ‘Dr.’ It makes one lend credence to their opinions. You trust the doctor with your health because he attended an accredited institution for 8 years, followed by their residency period. An economist, or financial planner, is trusted because they received a degree in the field of finance. Also, we trust a pastor, or priest, with our spiritual well-being due to whatever seminary they attended. We just figure, they spent all this time attaining all this knowledge, they must just know. Also, we don’t have the time to gain all the same knowledge in these fields. So, our natural inclination is to outsource these areas of our lives to the ‘experts’. And it seems reasonable that we should. However, we have a responsibility to filter through these things ourselves to make sure they mesh with reality. To give them carte blanche determination to decide on our life’s direction wouldn’t be wise, or prudent.
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The problem with those labeled as ‘the experts’, in any field, is that they have so often been proven to be wrong. Much of their advice sounds good, and even makes sense, right up until it flies into the brick wall of reality. That’s when it all falls apart and is exposed as flawed, or even fraudulent. So it stands to reason that outsourcing our health, finances, or faith to someone else shows a higher level of trust than is maybe deserved. We can show them a level of trust, but not without us also examining it ourselves. The reason we have to do this is because we live in a world that is upside-down. Much of what ‘is’ isn’t the way it should be. The degree to which we realize this is also the degree to which we can more adeptly navigate the turbulent waters of life.

All of this isn’t to say we should develop a disdain for the experts. They are there for a reason—to give us guidance and information. But the ultimate determination is up to us. We owe it to ourselves to make the best, and wisest, choices available to us. Life is complex, and the answers aren’t always easy, which is why looking at each situation individually and gathering the right information places us in a position to make the best choices.

…Let’s go deeper

The direction our culture is going causes me concern for the level of indifference we have towards the people around us. It’s really only came to my mind lately. But it’s something that stands out to me. I’ve noticed that so much of the time when given the chance to greet others, or even say a kind word, the opportunity is missed. I believe the culture has begun to draw increasingly inward. To me, that’s a cause for concern.

Given the prevalence and the meteoric rise of social media over the past few years, the thought that we are becoming less social seems somewhat counterintuitive. You would think that all of these online opportunities to meet and get to know people would lead to greater social interaction. But the result has seemed to be the opposite. I think the internet has made it easier to connect with people, but it’s a different kind of social interaction. Chatting with someone on an SMS service is different than actually communicating with someone face-to-face. A person wonders: Will the rise of the internet lead to this next generation being socially deficient and unable to communicate directly with each other? You certainly hope not, but looking at the evidence makes it seem more likely.
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I’ve just paid attention myself lately, and with the limited amount of social opportunities, and places to interact with people, I have been thinking, “How does anyone meet other people anymore—not only meet, much less get to know someone else?” You go from your workplace to home, to the grocery store, and home again with little else in-between. It seems strange to me since I’ve started paying attention to it. There was a time when anyone in a neighborhood knew their neighbors. That seems to be getting less and less today. I believe the more emotionally connected a culture is, the stronger it is. The more you understand your neighbor, the more willing you are to reach out to them. This internet culture seems to be leading to outcomes we couldn’t have predicted, and certainly some we wouldn’t have wanted. What has led to greater connectedness in virtuality, has led to less connectedness in reality.

By extension, all of this has led me to think about all the opportunities that are missed in getting to know someone else—not only the opportunities I miss, but the ones others miss. If I’m honest and think about it, I believe most people would like me once they got to know me—not everybody, but most people. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t say that in arrogance. But I do think enough of myself to think I’m worth getting to know. I believe I have something to offer other people. And I would venture to guess most other people feel the same way. I believe most everybody has something to offer and likeable qualities that others would find appealing. The difficulty comes, though, in meeting those people and, further, getting to know them. How do you open that door into someone else’s life? And then how do you get them to invite you in? Well, I guess it takes initiative on our part. A friendly greeting followed by ensuing questions. Once initiated, the opportunity is there. Regardless of the outcome, at least we’ve created the opportunity.

…Let’s go deeper