Questions can get to the core issue

Of all the value that a concrete answer holds, sometimes nothing beats the value of a well-placed question. Those things we can’t correctly answer aren’t always a failure to arrive at the right conclusion, but a failure to ask the right question. Sometimes we’re really just dancing around the edges of an issue because we don’t have the courage or insight to dig into the problem. But that’s what a good question does: It gets to the core issue.

Have you ever had someone answer your question with another question? You know, they might phrase it something like this: “Well, let me answer that by asking you this?” Then they proceed to ask you a question somehow related to the question you just asked them. As frustrating as that can be, they aren’t necessarily being cryptic or evasive. It’s actually a valuable tool for getting to the heart of the issue. Sometimes the questions others are willing to ask us are more penetrating than the ones we are willing to ask ourselves. We’re good at avoiding what’s really going on, especially when it comes to ourselves. Those things we thought we knew, we sometimes find we don’t. Those assumptions we hold to get exposed in light of a good question. The real truth comes out and gets extracted from the muck with that rare jewel of a question.

If you’ve ever been to counseling, you’ll notice that after going through your long backstory that leads up to the crescendo of your concluding statement—which is what you think is your real issue—the counselor doesn’t respond by saying, “OK, this is your problem and you need to do this, and this, and this….” No, they usually respond to you with a question—something like, “Interesting…..and why do you think that is?” It’s easy to be nonplussed at this point and think to yourself, “I don’t know. That’s what I’m paying you for.” What appears to be, by the counselor, an attempt to avoid doing his job is really just a tool for digging through all the muck. A good counselor knows how to ask the right questions. Whether we realize it or not, there is often a ton of debris surrounding some of our most basic questions. And besides that, it’s also more meaningful when you come to a conclusion on your own rather than just have someone dump the facts in your lap.
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Questions cause people to ponder something other than a straight up-and-down answer which requires no pondering. If you only get the answer to your question, that’s all you get. But if you look for the answer to someone else’s question, it comes from a different perspective, and you might come up with the answer to a number of other questions—some questions you would have never even considered. Those questions can sometimes send us on a journey to the real truth. The value those rare questions hold is often overlooked. And the truth of those rare questions shouldn’t be underestimated.

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