It’s interesting how much we can improve our relationships, when we just improve our communication. Many of these things aren’t as straightforward as we would like. There’s subtlety and nuance, and somewhere in the mess of it all is a message. It can require some patience, and we might have to dig a little, but if we persist we can generally find the true message that’s being conveyed.
Proverbs 21:23: “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” In listening—at the heart of listening—is the quiet stillness of your own contemplative thoughts. We listen best when we’re not speaking ourselves. And if we listen carefully we’ll we might hear what’s not being said instead of only what’s being said. And in our lack of response, we can sometimes keep ourselves out of trouble. If we’d engage our mental filter more often, and our mouth less, we might prevent a lot of misunderstandings on our end.
James 1:19: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” Getting angry at the drop of a hat doesn’t serve us very well, or anyone else for that matter. For one thing, we might be getting mad over nothing. The other person might not have even said, or meant, what we think they said. It might be worth our while to take a minute and discern the true meaning of the message. The key here is temperance. And in doing the hearing part right, we can avoid some responses that we might regret.
Proverbs 16:30: “He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.” Sometimes we can run onto people who have devious schemes in mind. It’s these times where it can be especially valuable to read the other person. Some people are only working to their own advantage, and much of that means that it’s also to your own disadvantage. They’ll use flattering speech and skillful words to entice you into something that isn’t in your best interest. They’re kind of like the self-serving used car salesman. This is where being naive can work against you. It’s not that you’re not trusting of people, but you’re just learning which people you can trust.
Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” As much as it may be difficult for us to discern what’s in someone’s heart, it may be even more difficult for them to do so. There are none so deceived as the ones who have deceived themselves. If you’re skillful at it, you can sometimes recognize this before they can. If you sense something isn’t right, you can usually see that there are some inconsistencies present. Speech doesn’t match up with actions, emotions expressed bely their true emotions, and the truth is found in recognizing this disparity.
Galatians 6:2: “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” It’s here where reading people can work towards the most fruitful ends. We quickly dash through our days without really hearing people many times. We don’t always know what’s going on with someone else either because we don’t care, or we’re too busy to find out. But stopping to take the time can sometimes be an enlightening and insightful experience. And in caring enough to find out something about someone else, we might find out something about ourselves; we may find, in the end, that this skill of reading others benefits you as well as them. But Who knows, maybe it will have a greater on you than on them?
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Proverbs 21:23: “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”
James 1:19: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
Proverbs 16:30: “He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.”
Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Galatians 6:2: “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”