Having two minds about something isn’t a unique experience. In fact, it’s quite common. From the decisions we make to the answers we choose, the way forward isn’t always clear. And sometimes our emotions get involved and things just become a mess. We’re complex beings, to say the least.
How does one make decisions when we have these conflicting attitudes? If we didn’t know better, we’d think we have split personality disorder as a species and not just in rare individual instances. But usually it’s not a matter of our individual mental health, but, unfortunately, just a matter of the human condition. It’s inherent to the species. And internal struggles can be the worst kind to face. Two competing ideas fighting for supremacy within the small confines of our own mind. A civil war, of sorts. It can be the worst kind of discomfort.
Sometimes, to forgo this struggle, we like to make decisions by letting decisions make themselves. We just wait long enough so that time and circumstance either force our hand, or a certain opportunity just times out, thereby taking the option out of the way. This can work sometimes; however, there can be a price to pay: the decision the universe makes on our behalf may not always be one that we like. And we find, in retrospect, some of the worst decisions were the ones we let make themselves. I understand. It’s a tempting option. We fear the potential regrets over a poor decision made, but we don’t anticipate the regret of not making a decision. There’s a downside to doing that as well.
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It appears tackling life head-on is the better approach rather than just letting it happen. In the first approach, life is something you’re living; in the latter, life is just something happening to you. In the first approach, you’re driving the car; in the second, you’re just the passenger on a roller coaster. These decisions we make on a daily basis are just a part of life. If you think about it, where you are right now in life is a culmination and reflection of all the decisions you’ve made to this point. And it’s also a result of the decisions we didn’t make, for good or for bad.
We can easily get caught up in decisions. We can over-think what we should think about less, and we can under-think what we should think about more. And in between, when we get stuck, we’re in the land of indecision until we find a way to get out. But we can learn to be more decisive. Mostly, I think we learn from experience how to make wiser decisions. We learn that decisions we deliberated over too much weren’t as big as we thought. We learn that decisions we made with the least deliberation were some of the best ones. Often we find that our first inclination tends to be the right one. We each have an internal wisdom we can tap into. It’s learning how to tap into it that’s the challenge.