Emotional Intelligence and Maturity

 

Maturity is important. But maturity isn’t just automatic. It’s a process we have to allow to happen. We have to embrace it. But we mature by degrees, through experiences, over time.

I think about my own maturity. I wonder how much I’ve matured. Most importantly, I wonder if I’ve matured enough. I wonder sometimes if I’m not acting much more mature than I was in junior high. I know in some ways I have matured, but in others I believe I still have some work to do.

There’s one thing I’ve observed about maturity. It seems that it probably has some to do with our emotional intelligence. You may wonder what that is. Well, it’s just the ability to monitor our own and other people’s emotions. Some people have a higher degree of this than others. But I’ve observed it as I watch people. It’s especially noticeable when people are in conversation with others. I’ve noticed that good interviewers have a high degree of this. When you see someone being interviewed on TV, or a talk show host who has a guest on their show, you can tell that the good ones are really engaged. They are truly connecting with the other person. They are reading the other’s emotions and have a high degree of empathy. And it seems to be a natural gift they have. You can tell because you can see the natural reaction on their faces to the other’s responses. They don’t have to think about it. It’s just something they do.

In observing this, I’m wondering if this emotional intelligence level helps some of us to mature more easily than others. This ability to empathize with others can help a person to identify with someone else so they can see things from their perspective. I believe this has a number of benefits. One is that it makes us less judgmental. When you have a better understanding of where someone is coming from you have a tendency to not be so critical of them. You take on their pain or feeling as your own. Also, connecting with others helps us to mature more because connecting with people is a critical part of maturity. A lot of our maturity has to do with how we relate to other people. Another thing is, developing that emotional connection with others is a valuable experience. We not only desire to connect with others, but have a need to connect. This connection with others allows us to know that someone else understands us and that we’re not alone.

I believe even if we aren’t naturally inclined towards a high emotional IQ, we can still work on developing the one we have. We might have to try a little harder, but we can still work on developing our emotional intelligence. It may require us to step out of our comfort zone and take some steps in connecting. But taking some selfless steps in really relating to other people could end up entirely changing our perspective.

 

…Let’s go deeper

Of all the people who have ever lived I believe Jesus had the highest emotional intelligence of anyone. He was always reaching out and wanting to connect with other people. His example is a good one for us to follow. And like we have a maturity process in our natural lives, we have a maturity process spiritually. And that also involves our connecting with others.
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AV 1 Peter 2:2 says, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:” One of the main ways we mature is just by getting into the word. Reading it and understanding it. Studying it and going over and over it again. Meditating on it during the day and allowing the word to get into our hearts. Though we start out as babies, we eventually have to grow up. But there is a maturity process. It doesn’t happen overnight.

AV Hebrews 6:1 says, “Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,” Once we’re saved, that’s not the end. It’s just the beginning. This verse isn’t saying to forget about the teaching of salvation from our dead works and our old way of life. No, that was essential to make the change in us so we can now live right. But the sanctification process begins here. It’s saying, “Let’s move on to the process of actually maturing and growing in the Lord.”

Performance anxiety is a cialis de prescription big factor in causing ED especially among younger men. The mayor canadian cialis no prescription rushes to the scene for an op ed opportunity to get his name in the newspapers and interviewed on television. Apart from hormonal therapy and medications, there are cialis buy online some useful herbal remedies, if taken regularly can alleviate ED effectively. Broccoli cheap cialis is rich in vitamin C. AV James 1:25 says, “But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth [therein], he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.” The way we begin to see a change in us is to take the principles and doctrines in the Bible and properly apply them to our lives. As we begin to get these things in us and allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives by guiding and directing us, we will see changes in ourselves and how we act and react, especially with other people. This is the power of acting on what we know to do.

AV 1Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” In community with others and other believers we can apply what we’ve learned to our lives and allow others to help us to grow in our faith and knowledge of God and His word. We also mature and grow in our connection with others and their connection with us.

AV Ephesians 4:13 says, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:” This is the end result we are looking for. What we are looking for, and what God is looking for in us is to become perfected in Him. He is looking for us to become united with Him, and His word, and Jesus Christ, to create in us a perfect heart. To bring all believers into a united faith, and understanding and belief in Him.

AV 1 Peter 2:2 says, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:”

AV Hebrews 6:1 says, “Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God,”

AV James 1:25 says, “But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth [therein], he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.”

AV 1Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”

AV Ephesians 4:13 says, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:”

The Story of My Life

 

The Story of My Life. I don’t mean that as a commonly used colloquialism. Like when something bad happens and people say, “The story of my life.” I’m thinking more in terms of the ‘story of my life’ in the sense of how our life story ends up.

One of the easy patterns of thinking to get into is to start thinking that what’s going to happen is going to happen. That everything is already predetermined and there’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve had a tendency to think this way in times past. But this isn’t true. It’s actually quite far from the truth. Our choices have consequences for good or for bad. If we start to think everything is predetermined, then we easily get into a fatalistic thought pattern. Which is a negative thought pattern. So, to put it simply: when we do something, we produce something—when we do nothing, we produce nothing. Don’t you love how I simplify things?

Anyway, the danger of thinking this way is that we may have had an opportunity to make a positive change in our lives, or the lives of others, but end up missing it because we feel like everything is just predetermined. But we have freedom of choice, which gives us the opportunity to make positive changes in life, and also be conscious of the consequences of negative choices.

You may not remember these because it was either before or after your time. But when I was growing up there were these category of books called ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’. When you read a regular novel, whatever you read is whatever you get. You don’t have any choice in the matter. Well, these ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books would all start out the same. But then they would have a number of different endings you could choose from. So, the story wasn’t set in stone. You could decide how it ended. These books seemed to be pretty popular with kids because they liked having the option to choose the ending.

I think this is a more accurate picture of our lives. It’s more like a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’, and less like a regular novel where the story is already predetermined. But if we were to really get technical, we are actually writing our life story one page at a time. We decide where the story goes every day of our lives. That’s the power we have individually.

So, the only question left is, “What are we going to do with it?” Think of your life right now, today, as a ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’. You have a myriad of possibilities, and you get to pick from an endless number. This reality, itself, can be daunting. But we shouldn’t be afraid of it in the sense of choosing the exact right one. Sometimes there are a number of good options. We just need to pick from any number of the good ones.

 

…Let’s go deeper

AV Deuteronomy 30:19 says, “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:” God makes it clear in His word that He has given us a free choice in how we live. He makes the choice clear for us. We can choose life or death. We can choose blessing or cursing. And we make that choice by either going His way, or our own way. This is the ultimate choice we have to make.
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We also have to make choices about what we’re going to do in the face of adversity. AV Micah 7:8 says, “Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD [shall be] a light unto me.” This is a statement of strength. It’s saying, “Hey don’t let the looks of things fool you. I may be down, but I’m not out. Even though things may look dark all around me, I know God is still with me and He will light the way.” This is the comfort we have. No matter how dark things may look. We have God’s assurance that He is with us.

AV Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.” Even though we have a free will, God also guides us within the context of that free will. We may start off in one direction, when in some way, He may show us to go in a different direction. Sometimes He may do this through circumstances.
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AV Psalms 32:8 says, “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” God also speaks to us and guides our hearts with His Holy Spirit. He may speak specifically to us on a matter to make it clear to us. Often times, though, we need to ask Him. And if we ask Him to, He will guide us.

AV Ps 119:105 . “NUN. Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Another good way God will guide us is through His word. Sometimes we can get a clear answer in the Bible about what the right answer is. It can speak directly to a situation we’re in at the time.

Many times as Christians we can be prone to thinking that everything is predetermined. We believe that God is in control, so what’s going to happen is going to happen. We forget, though, that God has given us free agency over our lives. We can ‘Choose Our Own Adventure’. But, as we submit to Him, he works within the context of that free agency to bring about the best results for our lives.

AV Deuteronomy 30:19 says, “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”

AV Micah 7:8 says, “Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD [shall be] a light unto me.”

AV Proverbs 16:9 says, “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”

AV Psalms 32:8 says, “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”

AV Ps 119:105 . “NUN. Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

One truth, which encompasses many

 

There are some truths in life that are so powerful that they, themselves, encompass all other truths under them. They don’t need a whole lot of explanation. They’re simple. In essence, they are the answer to every question you could ask on that subject.

One of these truths that came to my mind, as an example, involves the career paths we choose. We often wondered to ourselves before we chose our career path, “What should I be when I grow up?” We also asked things like, “How am I going to make a living?” Or, “Where should I go to school?” And even, “How will I become successful in life?” All good questions. We all need to choose something. It’s not always so clear cut. Especially since there are so many options. So, what are the answers to each of those questions?

What if I told you that the answer to those questions point to one main question? And what if I told you that the answer to that main question will answer all the other questions that point to the main question? I’ve often heard it said (and I agree that it’s solid advice), “Find something that you’re good at, and that your passionate about, and everything else will take care of itself.” I think it’s largely true. That one answer becomes the answer to every question you have on the subject of your career. From what you should be, to how you’re going to earn an income, to how to become successful—the answer is all the same. The rest is just details. The great thing about this is that it really simplifies things for us. Because once you answer that one main question, you can answer all the others.

But sometimes we don’t even know what the main question is. So, we don’t even know where to begin. In that case, we need to ask ourselves, “What’s the main question?” What are all the questions I’m asking pointing to? If I could boil down all my questions into one main question, what would it be? In this case the main question would be, “What am I good at and also passionate about?” Once we know the right question, it makes it easier to come up with the right answer. Then once we know the answer to that main question we can answer all the other questions with that same answer. And we can figure out the details from there.

I don’t know about you, but I like when things are simplified for me. Making the complex understandable is a valuable thing. Usually we can do this if we just think about it a little bit. Sometimes it can help to ask for advice as well, or bounce some ideas off someone else. But of all these question we can ask, they can usually be boiled down to one main answer. One main truth.

 

…Let’s go deeper

 

 

 

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AV Matthew 22:36-40 says, “Master, which [is] the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” This man came up to Jesus and asked Him, “What is the great commandment?” See, he wanted something simple. He wanted it all boiled down to something that would answer all his questions. Jesus gave him an answer: Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. And also love thy neighbor as thyself. That pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it? This answer can answer a lot of questions I have. How do I know what I should spend my time doing? Should I give money to my church and those in need? How should I treat my neighbor? Because in that one main answer Jesus gave answers all these other questions as well. And when I’m loving God, and my neighbor as myself, then I’m fulfilling the answers to those questions.
AV John 14:6 says, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Here’s another answer Jesus gave when Thomas asked Him, “How can we know the way?” Jesus gave them one answer. He’s the one answer to all those things. What is the way? Jesus. What is the truth? Jesus. What is the life? Jesus. Same answer for all of those questions.

You may have a lot of questions in life. Whether it’s the meaning of life, or the way to God. We can know that Jesus is the answer. You may be wondering though, “How can I know the answer to what applies specific to my life? Well in AV James 1:5 it says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” He is not only the answer, but is willing to give us the answers. But, ultimately, He is the source for all of our answers.

AV Matthew 22:36-40 says, “Master, which [is] the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

AV John 14:6 says, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

AV James 1:5 it says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

It’s not my fault!

 

This is a common statement. We don’t often like to accept blame. It’s our natural tendency to come up with excuses for doing what we should have done. But in reality, we are often long on excuses, but short on any good reasons.

I just looked up quotes on making excuses. Here are some good ones:

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Never make excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your foes won’t believe them.” – John Wooden

“There are a thousand excuses for every failure, but never a good reason.” – Mark Twain

“You can have results or you can have excuses. You cannot have both.” – Unknown

I thought some of these were rather illuminating. They seem to cut to the heart of the issue. We find that our excuses are but a weak attempt at shining the light somewhere other than on ourselves. None of us like to have a failure on our record. And we certainly don’t like it to be our own fault. I’ve found, though, that the most admirable thing to do is just admit your failure. Even though we don’t like being at the center of our shortcomings, it’s the purest portrayal of the truth. People will also respect someone who owns up to these things as well.

One thing I think I’ve realized is that, in dodging responsibility, I’m mainly only hurting myself. Because if I don’t take the blame for failing, there’s no reason for me to change or improve so that I don’t fail the next time. Did you know that the moment you own up to your faults is the moment you can start to do something about them? Up until that point there’s no requirement for us to do anything different. Because up until that point, and in our own minds, the fault and blame lie elsewhere. This doesn’t place any requirement of change at our doorstep. Maybe that’s why we like to duck blame so much. But ‘It’s not my fault’ are the famous last words of someone who finds themselves stuck in the same situation over and over again. As painful as that is for us to admit, that’s the point at which we can change our situation. And often change requires a little bit of pain.

One important thing to remember is that accepting blame will require some courage on our parts. We have to have the courage to admit our failures, and then have the courage to make the necessary changes not to repeat them. Also, when I accept the responsibility, it also makes it clearer what changes I need to make. Because the blame that is mine also illustrates what I need to change. So, in accepting that responsibility, I’m really only doing myself a favor. Now I can produce more positive and fruitful outcomes in my life.

 

…Let’s go deeper

 

Ducking blame is an old a practice as human beings. If you look at Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden it was a never ending blame game. And it’s the same situation we have today. So, how do we address our failures properly, as God would have us to?
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AV Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?” This verse illustrates for us how we sometimes don’t even know our own hearts. We not only try to convince others it’s not our fault, but we try to convince ourselves as well. So, essentially we’re lying to ourselves. God will reveal these things to us, though, as we ask Him to. When He does we have a good starting point for making a change in our lives.
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AV James 5:16 says, “Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” I believe the beginning of making a change lies in confession. We admit to ourselves and to God. But confessing to others can be an amazing thing as well. This can be a life-changing event. This is where healing takes place. The Bible emphasizes our need to confess our shortcomings to one another. This can be done with a close friend or a small group of friends. It can also be a freeing experience.

AV Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God.” The value of a pure and clean heart is aptly illustrated in this verse. We shall see God. We will not only see Him work in our lives, but we will have communion and fellowship with Him. This opens the door for our relationship with Him.

How do we gain a pure heart? AV 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Ultimately it’s important that we confess our sins to God. He’s the only one who can cleanse our hearts. And He has promised to do it when we come to Him humbly and fully admit our sins to Him. Taking the full brunt of responsibility on ourselves.

AV Hebrews 2:3 says, “How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard [him];” This states for us that our salvation rests on Jesus and His work on the cross. This salvation is available to us as we fully confess our sins to Him and trust Him with it.

AV Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

AV James 5:16 says, “Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

AV Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

AV 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

AV Hebrews 2:3 says, “How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard [him];”

Can I repeat my past successes?

 

I have a question that often runs through my mind. It’ s not even a conscious question sometimes. Sometimes it’s just the question that lurks in the back of my mind. The question is whether I can repeat the success I’ve had in the past.

This question isn’t something new to most people. I think we’ve all wondered this. What I wonder is—how often do we recognize that we’re being plagued by this question? This question can be sitting at the back of my mind without me even realizing it. It’s this thing where, once you’ve tasted success, you don’t want to be overcome by failure. You find yourself running from it like crazy. You keep looking over your shoulder hoping it doesn’t overtake you. I’ve heard people say before that, as difficult as attaining a certain level of success was in their particular field, it was more difficult maintaining it. You don’t have to look far to see evidence of this. There are a number of celebrities who make it big and then you never hear from them again. Even businesses, which can become really big, and the hottest thing going, can be here today and gone tomorrow. You sometimes wonder what can happen to them in such a short period of time.

In actuality, all such thinking is rooted in the fear of failure. Something, of which, I know much. See, fear of failure, itself, lies at the root of much or our failure. Sometimes we psych ourselves out to the point that we end up failing. Other times the fear of failure is enough to keep us from trying at all. Both scenarios not very attractive, are they.

The thing I’ve realized is that failure is inevitable. Well, ultimate failure isn’t, but failure in the sense of not always producing the desired outcome. When we do succeed, it’s usually a series of failures that got us to our ultimate success. Success doesn’t seem to be a purely linear process. We often stumble and sputter our way to the winner’s circle. So, maybe that kind of failure we shouldn’t be afraid of. Because we only really fail when we give up. And maybe the worst kind of failure is not trying at all. So, you could also say, “You only really fail when you don’t try.” Ouch! It kind of hurts when you think about it like that.

So, maybe I shouldn’t be asking, “Can I repeat my past successes?” Because maybe that’s the question that keeps me in the ‘hold the fort’ mentality. And that keeps me from taking chances and stepping out further. There’s a trait inherent in many successful people. They generally aren’t afraid of failure. The reason being is that they have the confidence that even if they do fail, they know they can make it back. They’ve done it once, and they know they can do it again.

 

…Let’s go deeper

Not giving up and giving my best effort is important, but knowing God is there for me and will never fail me is even more important. There are a number of people who learned this in the Bible. There are numerous examples listed in Hebrews 11. One of those was David.
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The example of David, particularly, stands out to me in this regard. AV 1 Samuel 17:37 says, “David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee.” This was David, before he became king, expressing his confidence in God. Why? Because he’d seen God work on his behalf before. I like how confident he was. Confidence based on experience. See, it wasn’t blind faith. David has good reason to believe.
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AV Romans 5:3-5 says, “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” These series of verses explain the foundation on which David’s confidence was based. David learned to wait patiently for God’s deliverance. That means not to get ahead of God’s timeline. The results he saw taught him, through experience, God’s faithfulness. And this experience is what also gave him hope for the future. You know what also gives us confidence? We have God’s love for us revealed to us in our hearts. You know, when you know that God loves you, that can give you confidence to do a lot of things. I believe God wants us to feel this way. He want us to know he’s there to back us up. When we acknowledge Him, and the strength we have in Him, God will honor that.

AV Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” This is a founding principle. We can make this statement confidently. We can have the confidence to do all things ‘through Christ’, the things that are in Christ, as He strengthens us. He will give us the strength to do the things He’s called us to do.

So, can I repeat my past successes? Yes. But, ultimately, my confidence isn’t in myself. My confidence is in knowing that God will repeat His past successes.

AV 1 Samuel 17:37 says, “David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee.”

AV Romans 5:3-5 says, “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

AV Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Guard your heart

 

A guarded heart. Our hearts need to be taken care of like anything else. And I’m not talking about your cholesterol numbers. What I mean is, we need to watch so that certain things don’t end up creeping into our hearts. Whether they be attitudes, thoughts, or intentions.

There are many things that can get into our hearts if we let them. The difficult thing about it is that they can get there without us realizing it. That’s why watching what gets in our hearts is so important. We don’t always realize this. But thoughts that we keep thinking can end up in our hearts. When we dwell on them long enough, they shape our attitudes and actions. But these things start as a thought. That’s why we need be careful about the things we think about.

If we’ve happened to develop a certain dislike for a person, that began as a thought in our minds. Because we thought about it long enough and we decided, “Yeah, I don’t like that person.” And if we keep thinking about it long enough it can get down into our hearts and develop into hatred. This is one instance where it’s important to guard our hearts. It can start as something small and develop into something big. Sometimes strife can develop between two people without either one having done anything to the other. And it just because one of them decided not to like the other. So, this person may end up being somewhat standoff-ish to the other person. Then that person picks up on that and thinks to themselves, “What did I do?” Then that person ends up acting in an unfriendly manner to the other person. So, these attitudes developed into actions. And essentially they started for no reason. It just started with a thought and developed into an attitude.

I’ve had bad attitudes about different people and things before. And if I tried to trace it back to a beginning, many times the reasoning for it was dumb to begin with. After a while you forget why you have that thought or attitude. All you know is you’ve been holding onto it for a long time. And, like anything familiar, you don’t want to let it go, even if it doesn’t make sense. And it doesn’t even have to be about a person. You can develop a bad attitude about anything. If we think back, we may have a difficult time finding the origination of that attitude. These things can so easily develop without us realizing it.

Being mindful of these things can save us a lot of ill feelings and untoward actions against that other person. Sometimes these feelings can develop from a legitimate slight. And we need to watch our hearts then, too. But sometimes they develop out of something really minor, or even nothing at all. This is really unfortunate, and it’s good to be extra vigilant in guarding our heart against these things.

 

…Let’s go deeper

 

 

AV Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Since these things start with our thoughts, it’s good to start with our minds. Some of the feelings and attitudes that we can develop are worldly in origin. This is why we need to make sure we transform our attitudes and feeling by renewing our minds. We do that by getting our thoughts in line with what the Word says.
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AV Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life.” This is probably the seminal verse for this post. It tells us the importance of being diligent in guarding our hearts. For out of it come the issues of life. If we think about this we see how true it is. All meaningful actions come from our hearts. That is why the emphasis is placed on our guarding of it. A heart in line with the truth of God’s Word is a powerful thing. It’s when our hearts get out of phase with that that we have problems.

If you experience any adverse effects with kamagra such as headache, dizziness, stomach upset, anxiety, fainting, weakness, double find to find out more now levitra mastercard vision or hearing disorders, talk to your doctor to ease the side effects. Its generic pill works by increasing the length of cialis samples the penis. Many men with low testosterone and also with hypertension may be the victim of erectile dysfunction. levitra prices Men’s self-respect is highly viagra india prices wrapped up in their sexual longing. AV Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?” One of the reasons why this is such an important issue is because of the deceptiveness of our hearts. This displays the great difficulty we have in truly knowing our hearts. This speaks to the tendency of our heart to develop negative feelings.

AV Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” As much as we have difficulty in knowing our own hearts, the Word of God is a powerful source to use in resolving these things in our hearts. The spirit resides in the soul, and the Word of God is able to show us and cut out those things that aren’t right. It shows us the true intentions of our hearts. It’s similar to a mirror. It shows us what we really look like.

AV Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God.” This is the end result we’re after. A pure heart. A pure heart towards God, and a pure heart towards people. The great thing about this is it keeps the communication lines open with God and myself. I can have an open dialogue with Him and see Him work in my life. And I will see Him and the results of answered prayers.

AV Romans 12:2 says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

AV Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life.”

AV Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

AV Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

AV Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

Life isn’t a video game

 

The title of this might seem odd to you at first. But in that statement, I’m referring to the reality of life. The things we act on and do are happening in real time and they have do have results and consequences.

First of all, not to get too heavy handed here. This isn’t meant for any of us to take life so seriously that we become afraid to act and make decisions. And we all make mistakes and learn from them so that we can do better in the future. But that being said, I think it’s good to remind ourselves that we’re not playing with monopoly money here. The reason I say this is because, in our culture today, the lines between fiction and reality seem to have become increasingly blurred. With the prevalence of movies and so much content available…..with actual video games, it can become really easy to escape into this fantasy world to, not only escape reality, but then carry that over into our real lives. I wonder sometimes, then, if we’re not making decisions like we are in a video game. The way I sometimes make decisions I might be forced to come to that conclusion.

I have, at times, run up debt that can become burdensome. I’ve spent too much time on things that have very little significance. I even put off goals and dreams sometimes like this life lasts forever. I’ve been forced to ask myself if I’m using my gifts and talents in a responsible manner. I want to make a lasting difference in people’s lives before I leave this earth. I’m sure you do too.

It can be easy to start thinking you’ll live forever, especially when you’re young. The reality is, though, we don’t get multiple lives until those are gone and it says, “Game Over”. Then we just hit the reset button to start over again. In real life, when it says, “Game Over”, it’s really ‘Game Over’.

The reality is, we are only promised today. There’s no promise of tomorrow. So, the question is, “How can we make sure we’re being effective today?” And many of us are being effective to some degree in what we’re doing right now. For some, they’re fulfilling their role as a stay-at-home mother. Others are working fulfilling careers that help people in some way. We may volunteer some place a few hours a week. Those are great things.

Maybe, though, I need to start asking myself if there’s something I’ve left undone. Something that when I got to the end of my life, I would regret having not done. I’m sure I won’t be saying, “I wish I had spent more time working”. I guess that can be a great way to focus in on what is truly important in my life. To see if the things I’m doing, or not doing, meet those criteria. That can be a great help in helping me focus on the important things.

 

…Let’s go deeper

The important thing to remember is that this life is our opportunity to get it right. We have this life, here and now, to figure things out. And the decisions we make right now will matter for eternity.
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If you cialis cheapest are looking for something that can be too much pressure. 4. They all mentioned the importance of their djpaulkom.tv side effects for cialis mindset and capturing the ‘difference that makes the difference’. The more sensitive aspects are the prescription medications that you can buy cheap sildenafil get yourself prescribed after a detailed consultation with a doctor. It is considered as a health care profession, concerned about remediation of impairments and disabilities along with promotion side effects from viagra of mobility, functional ability and improvement of quality of life, resulting in expansion of the span of living. AV James 4:14 says, “Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” The Bible reminds us of the limited and short nature of our lives. Just like a vapour, it is here one moment and gone the next. The brevity of it all is often lost on us. I guess it can be deceptive. It seems like such a long time, but in reality it’s not.

AV 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” The Bible reminds us that we are not our own. Why? Because we were bought with a price. That price was Jesus’ shed blood on the cross. So, knowing this, how should we live? Well, this knowledge should make us ever more mindful of our daily actions. Whether or not we’re being intentional and meaningful in our daily endeavors, since our body and our spirits belong to God.

AV Romans 13:11 says, “And that, knowing the time, that now [it is] high time to awake out of sleep: for now [is] our salvation nearer than when we believed.” The Bible reminds us of the nearness of our salvation. This is irrefutable. Each day we are one day closer to our ultimate salvation. The Bible also calls this a hope. For if we are able to see it, why do we yet hope for it? So, we live a life holy, consecrated to God, and hope for the unseen, patiently.

AV Genesis 6:3, “And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also [is] flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.” The Bible reminds us that God is striving with mankind here and now. He will strive with us here and now, but then no more. He calls us and changes us through the work of His Holy Spirit. This is where God is dealing with us and our hearts. Now, in this time. He has certain things He wants to accomplish in us, and through us, to be ultimately manifest in eternity. He’s looking for a glorious church to call home. And this is our time to get ready.

AV James 4:14 says, “Whereas ye know not what [shall be] on the morrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

AV 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

AV Romans 13:11 says, “And that, knowing the time, that now [it is] high time to awake out of sleep: for now [is] our salvation nearer than when we believed.”

AV Genesis 6:3, “And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also [is] flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.”

The Pity of Self-Pity

 

I wonder how many times we have felt sorry for ourselves. Probably quite a few. As we’ve gotten older, hopefully a lot less.

At first blush self-pity can seem pretty harmless. But is it? There might be more to consider here than sometimes is apparent. Self-pity is firstly selfish by nature. When we’re feeling sorry for ourselves, all of our energy and focus is on ourselves. This is generally not a good starting point, because too much focus on self tends to distort things. Our perspective gets skewed. We can only see our own problems and shortcomings. This makes our own problems and shortcomings bigger than they really are.

Self-pity is also not productive. I mean, think about it. It really doesn’t produce any positive result. You might say, “Yeah, but it makes me feel better.” Well, sure it does, but in its own distorted way. That’s not the kind of better you really want to feel. So, it doesn’t produce a positive result for you or anyone around you. In fact it makes you and everyone around you feel worse. And if you keep on in that direction it can take you down a really dark road.

Self-pity is also not true. The things you’re saying about yourself aren’t true. They may be partly true but not the whole truth. Some of it’s flat out wrong, and the rest of it is a distortion of the truth. You hear a voice telling you you’re dumb, and worthless and have no value. But it’s not true. Those are voices that you hear when you’re in a funk. You’re not thinking clearly, so you hear all these things that aren’t true about yourself. You have a choice, though. You can choose not to believe it. You shouldn’t anyway, because it’s not true.

Another thing is, self-pity keeps you in a state of inaction. You don’t have time to do anything productive when you are so focused on feeling sorry for yourself. It also makes you think you can’t do anything, so you end up staying right where you are. It can tend to overtake you. Sometimes you may have been in it so long that it just seems normal. You don’t realize the state you’ve been in until you try to step out of it. It’s a kind of prison that the more you give into it, the tighter its grip becomes on you.

It’s a shame when a person stays in this state. There’s so much we could accomplish when we stop thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Getting past that can take some courage. You have to decide to take the first step out of a state you’ve been in so long. You may be afraid to let it go because it’s you’ve become so used to it. But let go…I guarantee there’s a better life when you get outside of it.

 

…Let’s go deeper

As a believer, I believe that self-pity comes from the enemy. He wants to keep us down, so he sends it our way to get us, and keep us, in a gutter. It’s a trap that, if we fall for it, can keep us down for extended periods of time.

girl-470690_1280Often times we will find that our anxieties and fears will manifest in self-pity. Because it can be so much easier to stay right there than to move forward. The enemy will tempt us to feel sorry for ourselves at certain times. AV John 10:10 says, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.” This shows us that ‘the thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy’. That’s the only reason he comes. It’s important that we remember that. If he’s showing up in your life it’s only for one of those three reasons. He’s trying to steal your joy and your peace; kill your happiness and your contentment; destroy your relationships and your finances. It’s important we keep a watchful eye for these things. In reality, self-pity, can end up stealing all of these things from us if we let it.
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AV Matthew 16:24 says, “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Following Jesus actually calls for us to deny ourselves. There’s no room for self-pity in this. We are in the game of self-denial. We don’t see examples of Jesus ever feeling sorry for Himself. And if there’s anyone who deserved self-pity, it was Him. But Jesus saw it for what it was. It was a deception.

AV Romans 5:3-4 says, “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:” These things we have a tendency over which to feel sorry for ourselves have a purpose. They bring about patience. When we have patience in trusting God, we experience God coming through for us. When we experience God coming through for us, this gives us hope.

AV 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding [and] eternal weight of glory;” Paul’s description of these trials we go through in this life, I believe to be accurate. Not because the things we go through in life aren’t sometimes difficult. The reason I believe it’s accurate is because Heaven is so much greater in comparison. Knowing what awaits us is reason enough to kick self-pity out the door.

AV John 10:10 says, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.”

AV Matthew 16:24 says, “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

AV Romans 5:3-4 says, “And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:”

AV 2 Corinthians 4:17 says, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding [and] eternal weight of glory;”

“We’re not in the _____ business, we’re in the people business”

 

This is a common saying in the business world. You can place any kind of business in the blank that you want: cars, furniture, office supplies—the message is still the same. Some people will make this statement in the business world. Although, now it has come to be a kind of cliché. It smacks of someone making the statement as a marketing ploy.

Although this statement can be used in a disingenuous manner, and it’s maybe been overused, it’s really true. The main idea of this statement is that, whatever business you happen to be involved in, you’re main business is in dealing with people. Because whether you’re selling a product or service, at the end of the day, all you’re customers are going to be people. So, if you don’t know how to deal with them, and how to treat them, you’re not going to have a very successful business.

As obvious as this is, I wonder how many businesses actually forget this reality. Too many times a single customer can easily get lost in the multitude of people. I know I’ve often felt like just a number in dealing with certain businesses, and especially large companies. I guess the thinking is kind of like, “We don’t need you. We’ve got thousands of other customers.” However, if that’s they’re attitude towards one person, it’s going to become evident to everybody. Not only will they probably lose that customer, but a number of other customers as well.

Good businesses know that they have to treat each person on an individual basis. Recognizing each one’s individual needs is key. They know that they have to find out exactly what they are looking for and then guide them to the solution that works best for them. They can’t have the same canned answer for every person. Also, different personalities respond differently. A good business person can know how to read people and respond accordingly. Some people like to take time to think things over. Others are quicker to decide and, once they’ve found what they want, they go ahead and move ahead with that. So, a person might have to adapt their approach to each person.

Asking questions to get people to open up can be a great way to get an understanding of them and their perspective. It helps to know some background information before you direct them to what you believe will be the best solution for them. This can be an ice breaker as well. And not only will it help you to determine what they are looking for, but it shows you’re taking an interest in them as a person. People respond positively when you treat them like people. Basically, treating them like you would want to be treated. So, if this is the foundation for your approach to customers, you have a good foundation for your business. I believe good things will result when this is your approach.

 

…Let’s go deeper

 

 

 

 

 

This got me thinking about Jesus. He was, and still is, in the people business. When He was here on earth He showed His care and concern for each individual person. He displayed a personality. I think about certain things about Jesus and how he dealt with people. He dealt differently with each of His disciples. He knew each of their personalities and how they would respond to things. He called James and John the ‘sons of thunder’. It’s funny to think of the idea of Jesus giving people nicknames. The great thing is, He showed us how to be in the people business. He left us great examples of how to treat people.
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AV Luke 6:31, “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” This is also known as the Golden Rule. It’s pretty basic, but remarkably powerful and impactful. If we just treat people the way we want to be treated, that covers a lot of ground. Doing this will keep us from lashing out in anger, from being deceitful, from acting maliciously, and will help us to show care and concern for that other person.
They are however not only annoying, they are also stealing valuable bandwidth and slowing down our browsing; thus levitra uk making our time online less effective. Men who are under nitrates, alpha-blocker or antidepressant therapies should not use this generic anti-impotent medicine, because Sildenafil Citrate is temporarily blocking PDE-5 enzyme and improving nitric oxide flow in the body. cialis 5mg price There are tips suggested by the experts for taking the medicine. cheap viagra no rx A man can get all vital information about erectile dysfunction, and I feel that in our profession the equivalent to this topic as far as being embarrassing for many patients is the topic of cialis soft uk foot odor.
There’s one account in Luke where Jesus shows His care and concern. Jesus and His disciples had approached a city called Nain. When they approached the gate, there was a woman who was grieving over the death of her son as they carried him out. This verse describes Jesus’ reaction. In AV Luke 7:13 it says, “And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.” He then proceeds to raise him from the dead. I believe Jesus identified with the woman first of all. He recognized, and even felt, the depth of her pain. She was a widow, and now, she had just lost her only son. She had no one left. He dealt with her on a personal level. He then met her at her point of need.

When I think about Jesus calling the twelve disciples I think of how he approached them. Because He was in the people business, He started out by taking interest in their business. Here’s an account of when Jesus approached Simon Peter, and James and John. AV Luke 5:4 says, “Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.” Jesus instructed Simon where the fish were. When Simon did as Jesus instructed they hauled in so many fish that their boats began to sink. It’s interesting that by Jesus taking an interest in their business He then made them a part of His “business”. AV Luke 5:10 says, “And so [was] also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.” Jesus revealed Himself to them, and now He was going to take them in a different direction.

I think ultimately Jesus revealed His interest in us in this verse: AV John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” This is where and how Jesus revealed what was of ultimate interest to Him. He gave the ultimate sacrifice for us to have a relationship with Him. Further proof that Jesus is still in the people business.

AV Luke 6:31, “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”

AV Luke 7:13 it says, “And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not.”

AV Luke 5:4 says, “Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.”

AV Luke 5:10 says, “And so [was] also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.”

AV John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

I’m not responsible for tomorrow

 

I’ve found it overwhelming sometimes all the things I have to deal with in this life. Knowing my own limitations and the enormity of some tasks I have to undertake can be too much sometimes. I have a tendency to think ahead, but so much so, that it makes the task in front of me daunting.

I have a mindset that tends to make me hesitant to tackle today. Sometimes it’s because I’m afraid of my future expectations. I may be afraid I can’t do something in the future, so that affects how I approach today. I may commit to doing something, or not doing something, yet thinking even if I can do it today, can I still do it tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that? So, I end up torpedoing myself of a known today, because of an unknown tomorrow. I think to myself, “I may be able to do it today, but will I be able to keep it up? Will I be able to do it tomorrow? I may feel like doing it today, but I may not tomorrow.” There is some truth to that thinking. However, it’s not based on truth. It’s true, I don’t know what I will feel like tomorrow, or the endless following succession of days. But that’s the reason I make a commitment to it, isn’t it? I make a commitment because I don’t know what I will feel like tomorrow. In making a commitment I’m saying, “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or the next day, but I’m going to ‘commit’ to doing this regardless.

Why do we do this? Well, we do these things because we have a future place where we want to end up. There is an endgame in mind. That’s the reason, when we get married, we make marriage vows. We know that the ‘head-over-heels in love’ feeling may not always be there for the next 50 years. We make the commitment for our own and the other person’s sake. Hereby, we have an expectation and an end to which we can strive. This is how we go to college and end up with a degree. This is how we start on a diet and end up 50 pounds lighter in six months. Or, how we set a goal to save money for the future and end up meeting it.

Here’s the great thing about the future that simplifies an overwhelmingly complex situation—I’m not responsible for it. Yeah, the future, I mean. I am responsible for it in the sense of where I end up. But I can’t act today based on what may or may not happen in the future. I act on today with what I know today. And I can only make the best decisions I know how to make today. Taking on more than that is overwhelming. And the reality is, I can’t feasibly take on more than that. I’m limited in my abilities. And knowing my limits is a valuable thing.

 

…Let’s go deeper

I’ve thought about this and how obvious it all is. Yet, I’ve also thought about how I so easily miss this reality. I don’t have any physical power over tomorrow.
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AV Matthew 6:34 says, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof.” This is a commonly used verse, yet one that we so easily forget. This shows us our own human limitations. Tomorrow is going to come either way. It will have its own set of problems. We can properly deal with, and face them, when they actually happen. We sometimes create our own problems by worrying about something that may, or may not happen. Why not worry about it when it happens? Even then, we shouldn’t worry about it.

This next verse is also a popular verse. It too, emphasizes our need not to worry.AV Phllippians 4:6 says, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” It says to ‘be careful for nothing’. That means not to be ‘full of care’ about anything, or in another sense, ‘worried’. How do we do this? Well, through prayer, we ask God do deal with that situation. In doing that, we’re trusting Him to take care of it. We’re also not worrying about it.

Cyclists who opt for a bike retrofit prior to receiving cost of viagra canada manual therapy to release fibrotic hip capsules and hip flexors, soon notice a loss of sight in one or both eyes. With the regular use of these pills can not provide the instant remedying of ED and impotency cheapest viagra tabs without restraining the health problems that pervade. According to studies, herbs can definitely help on line levitra other in fixing erectile dysfunction. But in the vast majority of cases, it might buying that buy female viagra not otherwise encounter. 3. AV 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” This takes this one step further. The previous verses emphasize for us not to worry. This verse tells us what to do with that worry. It says to ‘cast all our care on him’. You know, we have a very limited ability to handle our own worries, when we really think about it. Why not give it to someone who has the ability to do something with it? He can truly change that situation when we let go and give it to him. And, like the verse above says ‘let our requests be known to God’.

AV James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” Not only can we give our worries to God, but He can give us knowledge and wisdom, in that situation, about what we should do in it, if anything. So, we face things head on, and prayerfully consider what we should do. God will give us the strength and knowledge in how to face it at that time. We just need to trust and believe Him to do so.

AV Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” I thought I would add this verse in here. This is always good for us to remember. This is an interesting one. I believe that when we truly commit the things we do to God, He will bring to pass those thoughts we have committed to Him, and also He will establish thoughts in us that are according to His will. God is actually the only one who has power over tomorrow. Knowing this, and that He cares for me, is what allows me to trust Him with it.

AV Matthew 6:34 says, “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof.”

AV Phllippians 4:6 says, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

AV 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

AV James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

AV Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.”