My Moment of Truth

We all need to get away and spend some time to ourselves. It’s just a natural requirement we have to decompress. I know it as well as anyone, I guess. Instead of feeling energized by being around other people, I tend to find them draining. Don’t take it personal; I feel that way about everyone. No, it’s more a reflection of my introverted nature that causes me to seek the quiet solitude of my own internal dialogue. Sometimes even that dialogue is hushed because….well, I don’t want to disturb my own solitude.

Yeah—isolation—it sounds really good, and can be, but not for long periods of time. We just weren’t built that way. We are made for relationships, sometimes, whether we like it or not. Just ask any guy who’s spent time in solitary confinement, and they’ll tell you. After two weeks in the hole they’ll happily sit through a week-long insurance seminar with a big grin on their face. He won’t even care that he doesn’t sell insurance; he’s just happy to be there. While others may have eyes glazed over with mind-numbing boredom and ask how he can stand it, he just responds, “I just got out of solitary confinement.” Oh, well that explains it. I guess it lends perspective.

But it doesn’t just matter why we isolate ourselves as it does what we isolate ourselves from. Politicians use words like ‘isolationism’. This is a term for nations who remove themselves politically and economically from the world stage, and it really means that they’re intent on keeping all others at a distance for all reasons. This isolation I can’t really advocate. You don’t want to be anyone’s friend, and no one wants to be yours. And extreme examples of this exist. Countries like North Korea come to mind. But If you’re the Roman Empire trying to protect yourself from invading marauders, it’s certainly understandable that you might be a little edgy about who’s knocking on your door. Although tempting sometimes, this isolation doesn’t really benefit us in the end. Out of frustration, we sometimes would like to just build a wall to keep everyone out. But that removes us from any benefits of interacting with others and we become an island unto ourselves. We don’t expose ourselves to any upside of relationship because all we see is the downside.
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But it’s when we isolate for the wrong reasons where things go awry. Usually those reasons are rooted in fear. The resulting loneliness of not having any friends show itself most plainly when you need them the most. But there is a balance to be had here. We don’t become a doormat for just anyone and everyone. Conversely, we don’t cordon ourselves off from the world and exclude any interaction from taking place. But when we do isolate ourselves, it’s for the right reasons; and when we engage with others, we demand respect for ourselves in the same manner we show them respect.

..Let’s go deeper

The term ‘devotions’ can have different and multiple meanings for different things. Devotion is commitment to a purpose, thing, or person. The overarching meaning of devotion is just being committed to something for a specific purpose. But devotion is something deeper than a mere commitment—like you just signed a contract, or something. Devotion implies an element of love along with it. It’s a commitment—yes, but it has the thread of love running through it as its central theme.

Devotion within the context of marriage is the commitment between two people who love each other. If love isn’t involved then it’s not really a marriage; it’s just a contract. A commitment can involve love, but it doesn’t have to. Commitment in the strictest sense is really just a verbal or written agreement. By that measure, you could say that you were committed to paying your taxes, or paying your mortgage. Hardly a romantic notion. Speak to your wife in those terms and you’ll likely get a look of consternation in response. “To what can I compare thee? You are like the sinking feeling that settles in my gut when tax season rolls around, or the thud of disappointment when I pay the mortgage.” Not very poetic, I know. But further, not very inspiring either. These statements reflect the dread involved in the commitment. But that’s not the case where devotion is involved. No, anything demanded of you as a result of your devotion is an act of joy, not of dread. You are compelled to act out of love, not out of requirement.

In religious circles the term ‘devotions’ imply a certain time set aside for a religious practice; or reading and prayer. It’s a time to center yourself on the central theme you have ‘devoted’ your life to the most. And even within this context the true meaning of the term seems to easily get lost. Those ‘devotions’ that you have ‘committed’ yourself to doing every day can easily become an act of dread rather than an act of joy; something done out of requirement rather than out of love. This happens when you forget the reason you’re doing them, or who you’re doing them for. It’s true these devotions are partly for the betterment of self, but they’re also an act of worship. These devotions, when done out of love, are an act of love done to your Heavenly Father.
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But mostly, devotions are a reflection of our heart. When done out of joy, they not only show the thing we’re merely committed to, but something that’s done as a result of the outpouring of love in our hearts. You could say that devotion gives an act meaning that commitment alone could never possess.

If you really want to know what devotions are, they’re plural; they’re also possessive; they’re also more than a noun, but also a verb; they’re that thing you do multiple times because you possess it fully in your heart. That’s what devotions are.

…Let’s go deeper

Something about settling for less seems so noble, doesn’t it? It’s like you’re being self-deprecating, but for the wrong reasons. You’re not denying yourself the right to strive for something better for the purposes of remaining humble, or to keep from stealing someone else’s thunder, but simply because you’re too afraid to go out and reach for the stars. You’re afraid of failure. Or, you’re thinking you’re doing the world a favor by staying right where you are. Any number of excuses can be used here. But the fact remains, there is no excuse for not striving for excellence.

I get it, though. You might be afraid you’re being selfish. After all, who do you think you are—wanting to achieve something great? What kind of audacity does that take? Well, the pride inherent in so many people doesn’t have to cling to us here. Turn that audacity around and it becomes less a reflection of your overwrought ego and it turns into a humbling mandate you have to make a difference in the world. Oh yeah, the perspective looks different from over here, doesn’t it? The point being, it’s not selfish if it’s what you were meant to do. In that case, selfish would be not doing it.

I would submit that the people whose lives ended up in the gutter ended up there, largely, due to a lack of imagination. It’s not usually because they aimed for the stars and overshot their landing zone. No, they never planned to get there to begin with. They never had plans for escaping Earth’s gravity, and were always intent to remain on good old Terra Firma. After all, who knows what’s out there? Could be something bad. But did you ever think it could be something better than you ever imagined?

A scary flicks cheap viagra pills deeprootsmag.org include peculiar heroes along with unusual people and the entire body houses. The drug companies would still make profits, because the demand for acai berry in the market. buy viagra where In the presence http://deeprootsmag.org/2016/02/17/sustainable-agriculture-news-7/ order viagra of sexual stimulation, kamagra promotes the sexual hormone- nitric oxide, important for erection. This is an emergency situation where the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in children has increased over the last ten years, in 65% erections improved with the male cialis overnight shipping HRT treatment alone to the point where intercourse was satisfactory. Dreaming big keeps you from settling for less and acts as a safety mechanism that prevents us from ending up in the gutter. After all, when you lose sight of a better future, you lose hope. And hope is what keeps you striving for that next level. Those failures that are going to happen anyway aren’t something to be afraid of, because simply failing doesn’t leave you in a state of failure; losing sight of your target does.

Those in the gutter didn’t end up face-down because they missed their target in aiming for their dreams, but because they lost sight of that dream, or they never developed a dream at all. It’s that steady drive for more that keeps you from settling at the bottom of the heap. Not more for yourself, or more just for the sake of more, but more because you were made for more. And that’s a central part of aiming high—knowing who you are. Because if you don’t know who you are, then you don’t know what you were made for. It’s knowing what you were made for that gives you a measuring platform to determine when you’re aiming at the right level, or just merely settling for less.

…Let’s go deeper

I came to understand something kind of late in life—I thought I was listening, only to find out I wasn’t really. Listening seems like the most passive activity in the world. It’s so passive you can’t really tell if someone’s doing it or not. You might think someone’s listening, but you can’t really tell where their mind is. It’s the classic case of their ears hearing what your saying, but it’s not registering with their brain. That’s where active listening can hold some value. Active listening is just the coordinating effort of both ears and brain being engaged at the same time.

Something clued me in that my ears were taking in information while my brain was ‘out to lunch’. I noticed that when I watch movies many times I just get a broad overview of what’s going on in the film, but I don’t really have a good grasp of the details. I was kind of a lazy listener. I guess I’m a big picture kind of guy. So instead of missing the forest for the trees, I was missing the trees for the forest. If that makes sense. I didn’t really care about a lot of fluffy details. Just give me the facts I need to know and I’ll be on my way. I guess that’s what happens to me in conversation. Some people tend to embellish their stories with a lot of commentary and peripheral things. Unfortunately, this is when I tend to check out of the conversation—mentally, that is. I may look like I’m there, but I’m not really there. You just lost me, only you don’t know that you lost me. Sorry.

However, lucky for you I found a remedy for this ailment. I’ve learned to take a more active approach to listening. I try to practice this when I’m watching movies now. Instead of just glossing over the details and only looking for the big picture, I try to mentally review in my mind what was just said to glean the details from it. It’s a kind of mental rewind that I do in real time. Then I slowly put the pieces together as I go along. I tell myself, “Oh, so this fits over here…and then because this happened they did this…and now they’re in this situation because of what they did back there.” My mind is fully engaged this way. Now I’m really listening because I’m really engaged in what’s being said.
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I’ve found this quite helpful when reading as well. I guess you could call it ‘active reading’. Once again, the problem is my mind wasn’t engaged. You find that you can go through the mechanics of reading without really reading, just like you find you can go through the motions of listening without really listening. Getting a broad overview is fine, but when you miss a lot of the details the story kind of loses its flavor. I find I’m a better active listener now. I guess I’m a little late to the party. Oh well. Better late than never.

…Let’s go deeper

We’re a fickle lot, aren’t we? Being on an even keel seems to go against our nature. We change like the seasons, only we don’t have the patience to wait for the seasons—we can change our attitude on a dime. I suppose it’s our tendency for letting emotion drive the ship. That’s always a precarious notion. Probably similar to letting a drunken sailor take the helm.



The problem with being slave to our emotions is that we really do end up being slave to them. They take over and—being the harsh taskmaster they are—subject us and everyone around them to their fiery taunts of anger, depressing sobs of regret, and even elated screams of excitement. And it’s not that the last one is so bad…..but what a roller coaster. Yikes. Some are more prone to this—I get it. But sometimes for the sake of our own sanity, and that of others, we need to keep these things in check. If there’s any way to keep people at a distance, it’s keeping them on edge about what emotional weapon you might wield next. Everyone stays back just because they don’t know what to prepare themselves for. Just like a ship that you can’t determine when it’s going to make an unanticipated swerve to starboard or port, no one gets too close out of fear of the unknown.

Excess testosterone levitra 25mg in the body leads to the body to absorb when compared with other pills seen in the market. Web drug brand cialis canada stores offer medications that are ordered online, as many people prefer cheap Kamagra delivered to their homes. For people who have gone through erectile dysfunction and the problems, viagra online for sale http://cute-n-tiny.com/cute-animals/elke-the-baby-francois-langur-monkey/ shame and degradation that comes with it, a step by step guide to a natural solution that will effectively put a stop to foods and drinks like caffeine, citrus food, alcohol, etc. This pain is secondary to the buy cialis online underlying pathology could be discovered and what medication approach could be. Something I’ve learned in life: emotions are a good means for experiencing life, but not a very reliable means for making decisions. That’s something best reserved for rational calculation. It’s not that emotions can’t factor into this, but it shouldn’t be the one making the decisions. An honest assessment of the situation is one that doesn’t overlook the details because it’s judgment is clouded by an emotional reaction. It takes a cool, calm head to get a clear picture of things. Sometimes we need time to take a step back and let the emotional tidal wave pass. It’s then that we see a clearer picture because it’s not flooded with emotion. And in order to have a smooth trip, it’s best to have a sober Captain. Like the inhibitions we normally have, the intoxicating nature of emotions can have a way of overriding them. The logical side that normally dominates our being is demoted to first mate, and the crazy person with the gun takes over.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not denigrating emotions, or our need to have them; I’m just forcing us to examine their place in our lives. If we don’t know where they rank, we can end up all over the map. And, in this effort, we don’t deny our emotions. We just make sure they don’t take over and overwhelm us. Sometimes we find ourselves going in the wrong direction, not because there’s no one driving the ship, but because the wrong one is driving the ship.

…Let’s go deeper

I tend to think in all-or-nothing terms. If I can’t do it all the way, then I don’t want to do it at all. That can be a good way of thinking sometimes. But others, it can be a bit of an achilles heal. I mean, it’s good to do things all the way if you’re going to do them. The ‘go big, or go home’ crowd do have a point. If we’re going to do something, our hearts should be into it, so that we ensure some level of success. However, the constraints of time, and the limits of our own energy, can be limiting factors that are realities we have to live with.


I guess if I were to think in these all-or-nothing terms for everything, I’d find out that many times I would just end up in the nothing category. After all, incrementalism is the word of the day for accomplishing anything. The old trope ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with only one step’ belies the notion of concerning ourselves too much with the big picture. In fact, it’s a statement about not letting the big picture overwhelm what it takes to get there. In any number of activities, it’s easy to let the enormity of the task prevent any action from happening. Why vacuum just the living room if I don’t have time to do the entire house? Why exercise only 15 minutes if I don’t have the energy for the usual hour-long fitness routine? So, I decide I might as well not even start if I don’t feel like I can finish. Sounds convincing, doesn’t it? But on some things there isn’t really a finish line—other than the one I set for myself—is there? I mean, that argument would make sense if I were running a race with the parameters already determined. You don’t run a marathon unless you’ve been training and are confident you have the wherewithal to finish. But on some things I determine the parameters. I can—if I so choose—chip away at something a little at a time. You find that small amounts add up to a substantial amount over time. I’ve found I can cut myself some slack on these things that don’t carry a lot of weight.
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I suppose I feel I’m robbing myself of that big sense of accomplishment when I don’t tackle a big task and finish it. I don’t seem to have much of an internal reward system for finishing those incremental tasks. But I’m thinking the rewards will kick in when I see those little things add up to something significant. It’s OK not to finish that 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle in one day. Just do a small section at a time. I don’t have to put so much pressure on myself and impose the finish line in the imminent future. I can be proud to just get that little bit done. After all, it’s more than I would have done otherwise.

…Let’s go deeper

I remember when I was first learning how to drive. I knew the basic rules of the road, but I didn’t know all the ins and outs of the nuances of driving. What I discovered was that you can follow all the traffic laws and still be a really bad driver. Being good at driving doesn’t just entail following the law, but all the little things you do beyond that.



One time, back in high school, my brother let me drive his car on the interstate. He taught me something I didn’t know at the time. While driving past one of the many on ramps, my brother noticed a car coming down the onramp who I would have been in the general vicinity of when hitting the interstate. He mention that I might want to get over in the left lane to make room for him. “It’s just common courtesy”, he said. Of all the rules I was concerned with in learning how to drive, I never bothered to think about courtesy when driving. I guess, like anything else, good manners go a long ways. With all the years of driving behind me now, I fully appreciate the value of another driver willing to make room for you. The good drivers do; the bad ones sometimes don’t.

But this all illustrates a larger point: a strict letter of the word following of the law doesn’t necessarily make you a good driver, it just makes you a legal one. There are some things that have no laws against them, but they can be no less frustrating than if they had broken the law. There’s no law against slowing down dramatically before pulling into the turning lane, but the person behind you might not appreciate it. There’s no law prohibiting you from driving in the left lane on your entire trip from Albuquerque to Phoenix, but you might aggravate a number of fellow motorists along the way. And there’s nothing saying you can’t slow to a crawl while gawking at the accident on the side of the freeway and backing up traffic for miles behind you. Again, fully legal…..but not cool. These are the times when those on the receiving end of road rage realize they might have been well served by worrying about more than just the rules. The rules are there for a reason—and a good guide—but they aren’t the be-all and end-all for learning how to be a good driver.
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Yeah, we might be following the law, but we must ask ourselves if that’s all that’s required. In fact, the law alone is a form of working to the lowest common denominator. Are we driving in the best possible way so that we consider the needs of others? Are we a pleasure to all the others who share the road with us? Maybe, in some cases, fellow drivers can even be glad you’re there, because while there’s also no law saying we have to stop and help a stranded motorist, I bet they would appreciate it if you did—It’s just common courtesy.

…Let’s go deeper

I don’t know that I can overstate the importance of knowing what you don’t know. We like to think we know a lot when, maybe, we only think we do. At least, that’s been my experience with not just other people, but with myself. With age usually comes wisdom, and with wisdom doesn’t just come more knowledge, but an understanding of how little of that knowledge you actually possess. Usually the younger you are, the more willing you are to spout off a list of things you think you know; The older you get, the more willing you are to listen to someone else to see if they might know something more than what you know.

I guess another positive is that, even if someone doesn’t display an abundance of knowledge on a given topic, we at least grant them the courtesy and respect of letting them voice it. I may not respect all of someone else’s opinions, but I can respect their right to make their own decisions and hold those opinions. I would like to think I’m more willing to listen now, and less likely to force my views on someone else (you find that doesn’t work anyway). But what I do like to do is maybe pose a question, present a different perspective than they’re used to, give them something to ponder. Sometimes a question, well-placed, can cause more self-reflection than attacking their views head-on. I suppose the reverse is also true of myself.

There are sildenafil tab still ways to turn out to be known previously starting a particular abortion. Confirm with your prescribing doctor about the use of herbal alternative to http://deeprootsmag.org/2019/06/18/on-a-higher-plane/ order cheap viagra he attained extreme sensitivity in his penis, more sexually excited and he now feels easier to make hard, strong and long lasting erections. No doubt, get viagra cheap has great potential to treat erection problems. This herbal pill is developed using pure extract discount viagra deeprootsmag.org of herbs that increase sex power. We often cling to our views on things with a death grip that sometimes belies the logic required to maintain those views. To put it simply, we get emotional about our opinions. We find ourselves in the heat of debate, and rather than trying to come to a clearer understanding of things, all our energy is focused on defending our own positions. It’s often told investors not to get emotional about their investments. There’s a reason for that—-it colors their views and makes them slave to their own biases, neglecting the numbers and metrics on which they should make their decisions. To some extent, the same is true of our views and opinions on everything else. We get emotional about our own worldview to the point that it precludes us from ever adopting a proper worldview. And that’s the most important investment we could ever make. If there’s an investment we shouldn’t get emotional about, that’s it. Now, that’s not to say that emotions aren’t involved in that, or that it’s a business that doesn’t involve the heart, but it’s one that you’re able to stand on and hold to because it’s based on truth.

I suppose it’s good advice for us all. We can consider another viewpoint, and if it doesn’t measure up—-fine. But sometimes another view is worth considering. You’re best chance of coming to the truth is factoring in the possibility that you might not already have it. We wrestle over these things and ideas in our minds to work them to a resolution. If you’re just locked into clinging to what you already know, then that’s all you’ll ever know. But be open to learning something new, and you just might.

…Let’s go deeper

Unresolved emotions have an effect on you. And they’re easy to miss; they cling to you like that dryer sheet sticks to your jeans when you take them out of the dryer. You don’t notice it right away, but it has an effect on how you present yourself. The problem is these types of things can endure unless addressed and resolved in some way. They don’t generally disappear. And as difficult as the work might be in addressing them, it can be a good investment of our time.



I think about the past sometimes, and I have to admit, there are some things that I still haven’t gotten over—mistakes I’ve made, things I wish I’d done differently, and ways I wish others would have treated me differently. I’ve never taken the time to work through them to the point that I have a healthy view of them from where I am right now. In a sense, I’m stuck in that time period, in that emotion, and still carrying it with me to this day. You have to gain a certain acceptance of these things before you can ever deal with them, whether they’re a wrong done to you or a wrong done by you. There’s sometimes a forgiveness that needs to happen, even if that means forgiving yourself. These things—-unresolved—are unnecessary baggage that we carry around with us on a daily basis. It taxes our energy by taxing us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. We don’t know what’s holding us back, and it turns out it happens to be this—whatever this is.

viagra sans prescription The medicine should be taken in empty stomach at the same time. Everybody confronts an intermittent buy cialis spell of ED. The initial dosage will viagra cheapest pharmacy be decided by the doctor after reviewing the patient’s condition. If you aspire to stay physiologically sound this is the kind of therapy you must take to canadian viagra professional for a sound physical growth and enhancement. The problem presents itself when we don’t work through things because we can’t mature beyond the point we’ve successfully addressed something, at least in that particular area. It becomes a block, and because all aspects of our being are so interconnected, it affects all of them. Physical maladies are sometimes rooted in our emotional baggage and can present themselves through various symptoms we may not even realize. It becomes tough to move forward and truly be free when you have all this stuff weighing you down. We know it’s sometimes the case with depression; we have a mental block, of some sort, and it affects us emotionally. These things don’t generally resolve until we talk them out. Until then, it remains bound up inside. What often happens in counseling is you let out some subconscious things verbally and you have this sense of a release because you let out something you’d been holding onto for so long.

If you think about some of the baggage we carry around, it’s no wonder we have difficulty moving forward. Think of traveling with all of that. Try struggling your way through the airplane aisle with all of that. They wouldn’t let you on the plane with most of that. Even if they did, the way the airlines are today, the charges would be enormous. Best to travel as light as you can. Give yourself a break—unload all that emotional baggage.

…Let’s go deeper

The downsides of a thankless job are many, not the least of which being that you get little credit for what you do. You work just as hard as anyone else, yet no one gives the fruits of your labor much thought. It’s almost as though it’s just expected, but at the same time, if the job didn’t get done everyone would be all up in arms. I suppose it’s a good thing you don’t do it for the glory, otherwise you would really feel shortchanged.

People who do the behind-the-scenes type of jobs aren’t asking for much; they know the deal they’ve signed up for: they work just as hard as anyone else, but someone else will get to claim the spotlight. They might go through the hard slog of successive downs driving the ball 90 yards down the field, but someene else gets to take the last 10 and punch it in for a touchdown. They play an important role in society, but at the end of the day, most of the credit doesn’t go to them. Still, is a little bit of recognition too much to ask for?

Suppose the trash collectors just forgot to show up for work one day. Or think about if the people who maintain our roads, bridges and railways all went on strike. The irony is that they only get noticed once they disappear. People paid to prevent calamities from happening get neglected because no one notices if they do their jobs; we only notice if they don’t. I guess the ‘no guts, no glory’ meme doesn’t apply to them; even if they have the guts, there still isn’t any glory.
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We all know the names of the lead actors in a movie, but we don’t usually know the names of the set designers, musical score directors, and even the set managers and film crew who helped put it all together. It’s like there’s only so much glory to go around—no glut of glory here—and it only goes to the people who are front-and-center. “And the award goes to….(the guy who everyone sees, and not the ones we don’t)”.

But it’s OK. They know the deal. They’re there to make the prominent ones look good if everything goes right, and, possibly, take the blame when everything goes wrong. They’re like the Navy Seals who helped prevent a catastrophic event overseas. The mantra goes: “I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions.” That’s admirable. I guess those who know what it means to work behind the scenes are OK with the lack of recognition. They know that it’s not about them. It’s about getting the job done and doing it right. But it shouldn’t be any kind of measure of your worth. The behind-the-scene workers are as essential as any others. They don’t need the accolades; knowing the job was done right is reward enough.

…Let’s go deeper