We all have desires. Some are selfish and some are unselfish. I would venture to guess that we all have some of both. Have you ever thought about how many you have of each?
I have wondered before how many of my own desires are truly selfless. I have also wondered how many of them are selfish. Unfortunately, I’m concerned there may be more of the latter than I care to admit. The good news is that as we get older we tend to approach things from a little less selfish perspective. We eventually come to the understanding that we’re not the only people on the planet, and that we might have to share some of the earth’s resources with other people. When we’re kids our selfishness is on display in its most unfiltered manner.
As we get older we might have siblings introduced into the mix. And these are the ones we usually have to learn to share with first. Fighting over food and toys only goes so far before mom and dad get involved. ‘Share’ isn’t the first word we speak on our own. It’s usually ‘mine’. The word ‘share’ we need to be taught. The word ‘mine’ just comes naturally. But slowly these selfish ways are chipped away until we mature through learning better ways.
When we are old enough to leave the nest it’s usually not too long before many of us get married. Here we take our selflessness to another level. We can no longer think just about what we want to do, or where we want to go. Wherever you’re going, you’re going there together. There’s now someone else involved. And they’re travelling down the same path with you. Similar to two people on a tandem bike. Things like ‘compromise’ and ‘sacrifice’ are words of which you gain a new level of understanding.
I would guess our own selfish behavior really gets checked when we have kids of our own. That’s when I think it really hits a person that they might have to do some things that require a sacrifice on their part. This is also when some of our unselfish desires end up being put into action. Providing for their needs at the expense of your own. This is where our selfishness runs into a brick wall. Here, sometimes ‘selfish’ is no longer an option and ‘selfless’ is the only path to take. You gladly take it, though, for your kids’ sake.
These are the progressions we go through. We don’t learn this all at once. The things we discover, though, are not only the need to be selfless, but the value there is in it. Much of this happens without us realizing it. The maturity comes, though, slowly over time and through experience. We come to know and understand what it means to be unselfish.
When we become Christians we find out, that when it comes to selflessness, we had just been playing in the minor leagues before. Making a commitment to Christ was going to take on a whole new level of selflessness. We thought we were being selfless before, but now, this was something entirely different.
AV James 4:2 says, “Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.” James really calls us out here. He illustrates our tendency towards selfish ways. It really shows us how we try to get things the wrong way and we end up disappointed. And, ultimately, we don’t get the things we really want because we don’t ask God, or we ask Him for the wrong reasons.
AV John 12:24 says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” What is Jesus describing here? Well, what He’s really talking about is us dying to ourselves. Dying to our selfish ways and also to our sinful flesh. He’s saying if that grain of wheat doesn’t die, then that’s all it will ever be is a grain of wheat. But if it chooses to die to itself, now it can bring forth fruit in the same manner as a stalk of wheat.
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AV Matthew 16:24 says, “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Jesus is reiterating the same idea here. Only, this describes the sacrifice involved in dying to ourselves. He’s showing for us that there is a sacrifice involved in following Him. He’s using a metaphor again. This time relating our sacrifice to His ultimate sacrifice and death on the Cross.
How do we do this though? How do we live the right way and deny our selfish desires at the same time? Well, this verse in Galatians describes it for us. AV Galatians 5:16 says, “[This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.” When we experience the new birth, God gives us a new heart. This new heart is the Spirit of God living inside of us. We now can live according to this new heart instead of our old sinful flesh. Hereby, we walk in the ways God has planned for us.
Finally it says in AV Psalms 37:4: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” When our delight is in Him and not the things of this world, He will not only give us our true desires, but fill our heart with His desires. We abide in Him and He abides in us.
AV James 4:2 says, “Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.”
AV John 12:24 says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.”
AV Matthew 16:24 says, “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
AV Galatians 5:16 says, “[This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”
AV Psalms 37:4: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”