There are inevitable things in life. We can’t escape them. They happen whether we like them or not. One of those things is us being hurt by other people.
I don’t know why, but even though I have a certain knowledge that I’m going to get hurt in life by someone, I’m still surprised when it happens. I probably shouldn’t be so surprised. But maybe it’s the person you end up getting hurt by that surprises you. You don’t expect to get hurt by the people closest to you. You might expect it to come from some stranger. I suppose the people closest to us have the ability to hurt us the most sometimes.
Yet, I still don’t understand hurts that come from other people. I have a strong sense of justice. Therefore, I have difficulty sometimes understanding someone else causing me hurt. I tend to think, “Why would they do that?” It’s probably sometimes due to the fact that I can’t understand their perspective. Most things we do make sense to ourselves. But it’s often difficult to explain that to other people.
And it’s not that I haven’t at times hurt other people myself. I know that I have. And there are even things that, if I had to, I probably couldn’t find the right words to explain myself. I suppose the important thing is for me to make sure that I make things right with others when I can. Sometimes that’s not always possible, though.
But what about those times when we are wronged by someone else? How do we handle those? I believe that even though their actions can be difficult to understand sometimes, it’s important to reconcile at least within ourselves. Find a way to forgive. What if they never ask for forgiveness? Well, forgive them anyway. The forgiveness is as much for you as it is for them. And there are a lot of good reasons for us to forgive other people. For one, carrying around that bitterness and resentment has an effect on us. We end up hurting ourselves when we do that. I think it was Nelson Mandela who said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” There’s more truth to that than we realize. It doesn’t benefit anyone. And in the end, you only end up hurting yourself.
There’s also a benefit you probably won’t fully realize until you forgive someone else. You will find that when you do that, you feel free because you have released yourself from that situation. You’ve actually been binding yourself without realizing it. Once you let go of that hurt you are freed from it. You think that the hurt you were holding onto wasn’t affecting you. But in reality, you’ll find that you’ve only been holding yourself back. Sometimes we’re doing harm to ourselves and we don’t even realize it.
AV Proverbs 19:11 says, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and [it is] his glory to pass over a transgression.” Extending mercy to people who sometimes don’t deserve it can be a difficult thing. Our natural flesh not only doesn’t want to forgive, but sometimes wants revenge. But I believe one thing we easily forget is that there were times when we needed someone else’s forgiveness. And we were glad when we got it. Remembering that alone can really help us put things in perspective.
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AV Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” Here’s another good reason to forgive others. This says we will be judged in the same manner as we judge others. See, it all keeps coming back to us, doesn’t it? Why is that, you may wonder? Well, because our doing right, and being right in a situation, isn’t dependent on the other person’s actions. We are to do right regardless of how other people treat us. We need to make sure we’re right and that our hearts are right. Holding a grudge against someone else not only affects our relationship with them but our relationship with God as well. Keeping a heart free of malice towards others helps us keep a pure heart towards God.
AV Luke 17:4 says, “And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” So, how many times should we forgive someone else? Well, as many times as it takes. An amazing thing about forgiveness is that it can sometimes have a life-changing effect on the other person, especially when combined with prayer like mentioned above. That person will no doubt see there’s something different about you. And sometimes they may even end up enquiring as to why. This can give you the perfect chance to tell them.
The important thing to remember is that, regardless of the final outcome, we can rest in the knowledge that we’ve done what’s right in God’s eyes, when we forgive. And that’s way better than holding onto a grudge.
AV Proverbs 19:11 says, “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and [it is] his glory to pass over a transgression.”
AV Luke 6:28 says, “Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.”
AV Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”
AV Luke 17:4 says, “And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”