One learns in life that you have to trust someone at some point. In fact, you have to extend some trust to others in order to find out if they are trustworthy. So, while we can’t give all our trust to someone when we first meet them, we can give them a little at a time—in degrees. At least that’s how it should work.
I have found myself on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve found myself to be too trusting at times and end up finding out the other person wasn’t deserving of my trust. Then, other times I find myself not being trusting enough when someone was just wanting to be helpful. It’s sometimes hard to find the balance. People aren’t always what they seem to be, for good or for bad.
We learn over a lifetime those we can trust and depend on. The ones who have our back when we need them the most. I think one thing we learn as a team member in any sport is trust. It’s an integral part of any good team. Each player learns their place and what they can expect of each other. And the greater their level of trust in each other, the greater their chances of success. No team can have a reasonable chance of success if they don’t trust each other.
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So, what do we do if we have trouble trusting other people? Well, the answer isn’t to just never trust anyone. That wouldn’t lead us to good outcomes. But trust involves an element of risk. You can manage the risk, though. You find you can trust people once you get a chance to know them. So, we trust a little at a time. And it’s a two-way street. Once we allow people into our lives, they will allow us into their lives. The trust becomes mutual over time. And that’s the way it should be.
Now, I think maybe I haven’t taken enough risks in trusting people. Maybe I need to be brave and take the chance of getting hurt a little bit. So, what if I do get hurt. Big deal. Wounds heal. But I’m guessing that my anticipation of being hurt is generally greater than what would actually happen in reality. We are often afraid of things because we make them out to be bigger, in our minds, than what they actually are. I guess that’s an example of using your imagination in the wrong way. I think fear is often just the wrong use of our imagination. We think about a bunch of ‘what if’ scenarios, of which few, if any, ever happen in reality. So, I just need to take a risk and trust a little bit more. Not thinking so much about the bad that might happen if I do, but the good that might happen if I do. And the amazing thing is the great potential upside there is to discover in this reality.