One of the things I have to remind myself of is the value of just being who I really am. Sometimes it can be very easy to change your outward behavior due to other people’s response to you, or their expected response. But that easily leads to you leading a disingenuous life.
I wonder how many times I have changed how I act or what I might say just due to the concern over what others might think of me. That’s probably happened more times than I care to count. Although, I would say that I’ve gotten better at not caring. But I’ve started to wonder why I care so much. I believe the concern over what others think of me is really rooted in insecurity. Probably, the most important thing is not to focus so much on getting over caring about what others think of you. The most important thing may be focusing on getting a good handle on knowing who you are. Because once you know who you are, it takes care of the concern over what others think and you also have a better sense of self. I believe having a sense of self is key to being who you are. By ‘having a sense of self’ I really mean that you know who you are. You don’t just know who you are but you are content with who you are—your personality.
Being self-aware is a good starting place to help you examine the person you really are. If you can get a clear outside perspective on you (your tendencies, your likes, your dislikes), it puts you in a position of knowing the real you and what motivates you. The great thing is that it doesn’t just help you know yourself better. It also gives you a better chance of making positive changes in areas that need change. Doing a self-examination can help you to say, “Oh, so that’s why I do things like that”, or “that’s why I react that way.” Knowing a trigger point can help you avoid it altogether. A reaction of fear or anger may not even be related to what triggers it. But it may be just a conditioned response that originated somewhere else. And finding what those triggers are can be a huge key to overcoming those responses.
I think it’s important to remember that when we’re acting a certain way due to concern over what others think it’s not an outright attempt to be phony. But it’s an action rooted in fear. And fear isn’t a good motivator. If we’re being ourselves we will automatically be more content. The main thing is not basing our actions on the response of others. An authentic self moves and acts in a way that is independent of outside influence. The attitude is, “I’m just going to be me and let the chips fall where they may. If other people don’t like it, I can’t help that.” But I believe, in the end, you will end up attracting the right people to yourself. You will attract genuine friends because you’re genuine yourself.
AV Luke 12:6-7: “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.” I believe that knowing who you are begins by knowing your value. And knowing your value begins by knowing your value to God. This verse makes it clear to us that God has placed special value on each of us. Knowing our value is an important starting point to being our authentic self. This gives us confidence. We can be truly be confident when we know our value and worth. Then once we know our value and worth we can start to get to know ourselves.
AV Romans 12:2: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Renewing our mind is an important part of living an authentic life. We live a life of truth when it is a life in line with the Word of God. When we start to live a life in line with the Word we can also start to know who we are. And when we know who we are we can begin to be who we are.
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AV Proverbs 29:25: “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.” There’s not only a downside to fearing man, but an upside to trusting the Lord instead. Fearing people really puts us into bondage. We are in bondage to their negative responses. And this ties us up so that we can’t really freely move within the environment of who we are. There is a safety that is offered when we trust the Lord. I believe God truly wants us to be ourselves. God gives us this opportunity. In Him we have a place free from critical sneers that would try to tear us down.
AV Isaiah 2:22: “Cease ye from man, whose breath [is] in his nostrils: for wherein is he to be accounted of?” We need to remember the imperfection of people who would try to place imperfect judgements on us. God, our one and true judge, is the only one who can paint an accurate picture of us. It’s really His judgement and what He thinks about us now that counts. And it’s only His judgement about us that will count in the end.
AV Luke 12:6-7: “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.”
AV Romans 12:2: “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
AV Proverbs 29:25: “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”
AV Isaiah 2:22: “Cease ye from man, whose breath [is] in his nostrils: for wherein is he to be accounted of?”