The Pain of Indecision

I was having trouble deciding about what to post today. I had a few ideas in my mind. I kept going back and forth between a couple of them. So, ironically, I’ve chosen indecision. Yeah, pretty funny, huh? Seems like a solid topic, though. I know I just talked about rational and emotional decisions the other day. But, maybe, this is a good time to talk about it. Maybe, just from a little different angle. Plus, I feel with my high degree of expertise in this area that I can provide some valuable insights, with my PhD in indecision.

So, what is it about making decisions that is so difficult? Well, from my experience, it seems to be rooted in fear. Fear of making a mistake. You don’t want to make the wrong decision. So, you either don’t decide or you just take a really long time to decide. Sometimes we take the option of not deciding. This is called ‘letting decisions make themselves’.

In this scenario, you just put the decision off into the future to the point that one of the scenarios you have to decide on will eventually play themselves out. See, you may not move forward with your decision but life keeps moving forward regardless. So, if you don’t decide on what to do, one scenario will eventually play itself out. Like, say I find a car to buy that I really like. The price is right and it’s everything I was looking for but I still can’t decide whether to buy it. Well, if I wait long enough the car will eventually be sold. And, in some cases, I may not have to wait too long. So, in that case, I’m making the decision not to buy. Only I’m not actively making the decision. I just let the decision make itself. See, this seems more risk-free, doesn’t it? This way I don’t have to live regretting a decision. Only thing is, this probably isn’t a healthy way to make decisions. Sometimes, depending on the situation, other people can get hurt in the process of you not deciding as well. We often don’t like the feeling of thinking we made the wrong choice. But decisions are a part of life. So, this option isn’t a good way to go.

The other option is taking an inordinate amount of time to decide. This could be called the ‘paralysis of analysis’. You sit and equivocate between two, maybe several, options. This is like voluntary torture on yourself, since you’re in this kind of perpetual limbo. This is never a pretty site. Here you sit going back and forth from one decision to the other. And then you probably torture yourself to the point that you finally decide that making a decision will be less painful than the state of indecision that you’re in. Then you decide. But even then, you still wonder if you’ve made the right decision. So, that’s not a good option either.

Neither of the above have I found to be good methods of decision-making. The problem is that the lack of decisive action is often rooted in fear. Fear, is generally, not the best motivator. So, one good thing to do is to get the fear under control first. Once you do that you should be able to invoke some wisdom into the situation. Now we can take an objective look on the situation. So, then we can ask ourselves what the wise course of action is. Without fear being the motivator, what do I believe is the best course of action? This way I should be able to make a more level headed decision.

My advice: start with the small things and work your way up from there. Then as you become more comfortable with making decisions you can make bigger and, also, better decisions. There is, of course, a lot more that can be said on this topic.

 

…Let’s go deeper

So, how can we apply scripture to this? Well, there’s a verse I like in James 1:5-7: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.” This is a good verse to remember if you’re having trouble deciding. If you want Godly wisdom God is ready and willing to give it to us. We just have to ask. But we must ask in faith and not wavering. So, we pray to God for wisdom and we fully expect him to give it to us. This alone should be comforting, knowing that you won’t be making the decision on your own and God is guiding you in the right direction when you trust him to.

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Here’s another verse in James. James 4:8 says, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse [your] hands, [ye] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [ye] double minded.” This verse takes this concept a little further. Here James is telling us to get close to God and get rid of the sin in our lives. We can be double minded not only about sin but also our commitment to God. Double mindedness is also referring to doubting God. This is why, like in the verse in James 1:8, a double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Because you are not rooted and grounded in God and his promises. A pure heart is also one that just believes God. When you are being tossed to and fro like a wave in the sea you are double minded and need to purify your heart. So, this is a good place to start. And if we draw near to God, he will help us to purify our hearts.

So, this is the best way to make decisions, is to get God involved in the process. We can not only make better decisions but have confidence that we have made a wise decision when we ask God for his help.

James 1:5-7: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.”

James 1:8, it says, “A double minded man [is] unstable in all his ways.”

James 4:8 says, “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse [your] hands, [ye] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [ye] double minded.”

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