Have you ever been in conversation with someone and you feel like they’re just not understanding you? I mean, for the lack of understanding going on you would think that you were both speaking foreign languages. That’s how conversation can be sometimes. That’s when it gets frustrating. When you communicate with people you want them to understand what you’re saying, even if they don’t necessarily agree with you.
Sometimes articulating your ideas is more of an art than a science. There’s not necessarily a logical way to convey your ideas. Maybe you have to get the other person to feel what you’re feeling in order for there to be an understanding. This is probably where communication breakdown sometimes takes place in marriage. Men are often appealing to a woman’s logic when all she really wants to know is what he’s feeling. A man can be making all the right arguments on the basis of logic, but it doesn’t matter because he’s entirely missed the point. She doesn’t really care. He’s telling her what he thinks about it, but the main point of the discussion is how she feels about it. So, in that sense, they can be actually speaking different languages. He’s speaking Chinese while she’s speaking French. No wonder there’s frustration.
And we all come from different backgrounds and have different perspectives. That’s probably where the convergence on an idea is often missed. We often assume other people see things the same way we do. But they don’t always. And a lot of that has to do with our background. Our history has a way of coloring our thought processes and our observance of things. It can sometimes take an awareness of this in order to see things as they really are. The idea that someone might have a valid point may not occur to us until we take off our ‘whatever’ colored glasses.
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And sometimes just thinking differently is where the divergence takes place. We don’t all think alike, as much as we would like to think we do. The way our synapses fire don’t necessarily mimic that of someone else. In fact, they’re each entirely unique to that person. Kind of like fingerprints. I suppose that’s why PowerPoint presentations are so popular. A PowerPoint is just a graphical representation of your own ideas. Conveying those ideas in a visual sense can be a powerful way to bring understanding. In a way, I guess you literally get everyone ‘on the same page’.
When I talk to people my goal isn’t just to be making a bunch of noise. I’m actually trying to convey an idea or thought process, so as to bring something novel or new to the table. A person’s understanding of that can depend on any of these several barriers to communication. But understanding those barriers can be a key component in being understood by the other person. Because the bottom line is: if they’re not understanding you, then you’re not communicating.