I sometimes wonder what those who have been adopted must feel. I can’t relate to that experience, so I can’t presume to know. I was raised by my biological parents. I am grateful for the impact they have had on my life. But what I do know about adopted children is that they many times will seek out their biological parents later in life. I understand this to some extent. I suppose a person has this innate desire to know their biological parents. But I’ve also wondered if I would do the same? Would I go searching for them? As long as I were raised by good and loving parents, wouldn’t that be enough?
Adoption happens so often today that it’s not a rare occurrence any more. There are many people that adopt for a number of different reasons. And there are many children given up for adoption for a number of different reasons. That’s usually a good thing. Kids are given the opportunity to grow up in a better environment than they would have otherwise. Being adopted isn’t a big deal to that person until they are told. But then it can become a shock to them. They had always assumed they were just a part of the family. A person’s originations matter to people. They see it as a definition of who they are, but it doesn’t have to be. Does that change anything about them, or who they are right now?
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It’s a common insult made to siblings, sometimes as a result of their rivalry, where one of them will say, “He/She was adopted.” That’s usually said when the offending person does something embarrassing. It’s given a negative connotation to suggest that they’re really not a part of our family. I think it’s important to note that people’s insults aren’t always that insulting. If that person charged with being adopted wanted to return the insult, he could just as easily say, “That’s right, I was.” It all depends on what being adopted means, doesn’t it?
While it’s easy for me to sit here and speculate on how the knowledge of being adopted would, or wouldn’t affect me. I don’t really know the answer. I’m sure it’s tough for a lot of kids just knowing that at an early age. They probably go through something of an existential crisis. They start to wonder who they really are. But I think they may be placing too much emphasis on it—like that’s the only thing that matters. For no matter how a person started, that doesn’t have to determine how they end up. It doesn’t have to determine the path they are on right now. The great thing about life is that bad beginnings don’t have to lead to bad endings. We have a choice and a free will. Maybe it doesn’t matter so much that you were adopted as it does who you were adopted by.