One of the things that doesn’t get discussed often enough are the things we don’t want to admit about ourselves. And, mostly, it doesn’t get discussed enough within ourselves, in our internal dialogue. That’s the thing about denial, it allows you to move on as though everything is ‘OK’. You can pretend, at least. But, in reality, it’s like a boat anchor that you’re dragging along with you. It’s slowing you down and holding you back from becoming all that you could be.
The funny thing about the saying, “Denial is not a river in Egypt”, is it points out perfectly what ‘denial’ is. By thinking denial is a river in Egypt you would be in denial about what actual ‘denial’ is. So, it points out a person’s denial about ‘denial’, I guess, which further illustrates how in denial some of us are. Anyway, that’s a bit of a mind bender. I don’t want to get all tangled up in that.
I will say this with all candor: admitting the things we don’t like about ourselves is difficult. It may be the most difficult thing there is. The reason for it being so difficult? Well, it’s probably because change is one of the hardest things. As long as I can point fingers at someone else, then they are the ones that need to change, not me. That’s their problem, and I am ‘scot-free’. Also, we don’t like to bear the responsibility of our own actions. The things we do that are wrong we tend to feel bad about. Rather than bear that responsibility, we would rather deflect. And sometimes that is our go-to move. We will duck, dodge—then if all else fails and we find ourselves backed into a corner—deflect. In this we’re saying, “It’s not me, he’s the guilty one your honor”.
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The bad thing about denial is it doesn’t do anyone, or anything, any good. It certainly doesn’t do the person I’m blaming any good, because they’re not at fault to being with. It doesn’t do me any good because it prevents me from dealing with my own issues, since I’m not even willing to admit to them in the first place.
It’s amazing the fruitless endeavors we sometimes embark on that keep us going round and round in circles. Looking at myself first, rather than last, will bring about greater change in my life than maybe anything else. If I can honestly come to the conclusion that it’s not me, then great! I can move on. But if after my honest examination I see the fault is with myself, then I have some work to do. But it’s not something to be afraid of. It’s a good thing, because you can’t change what you’re not willing to see. So the next time someone tells you you’re in denial, don’t respond by saying, “Oh, you mean that river in Egypt?”