Friends and family are valuable additions to one’s life. No man is an island, as they say. Sometimes we do just feel like being alone, but going through life as a lone ranger wouldn’t be the enriching experience that life is meant to be. Our lives are made better by the help and support we give and receive as family. Even though we didn’t choose them as family, we grow to appreciate them more as that connection grows deeper. There’s that saying that goes, “You’re stuck with your family, but you can choose your friends”. While I suppose there’s an element of truth to that, I’m less convinced of it than I used to be.
What I’ve found true in my own life is that those truly meaningful and lasting friendships aren’t easy to come by. Getting to a point where you get past the initial personality barriers takes some effort by both parties. No one wears their emotions on their sleeve. They reserve those things for people that know them best. The people that have taken the time to get to know you have earned the right to become your confidants. And that’s partly what makes those relationships so valuable. Knowing that they don’t come easy places a premium on having those people in our lives.
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When I say you’re stuck with your friends, maybe ‘stuck’ is the wrong word. I think what appears to be a choice on my part was really an act of divine providence intervening in my life. I believe God wanted to provide me with the type of friends I needed the most. At times, you may be tempted to think, “How did I become friends with them? If I were to pick a group of people out of a line up, I probably wouldn’t have chosen them.” But maybe that’s a good thing. Even in times of frustration, you realize that your friendship is based on some common interest, and a shared history. There’s some connection with that person that is maybe even outside your own understanding.
I guess, in a way, friends are an extension of family. Maybe that’s why we don’t really choose them either. In fact, some that have had difficult or broken family relationships are left with their friends as the only family they have. The two are one and the same. Maybe you have a ‘brother from another mother’, or a ‘sister from another mister’. Those are the ones you consider on the same level as your family—minus the blood relation part. That’s really the ultimate compliment you could give someone. If you have a few friends like that in your life, I guess it’s not so bad being ‘stuck’ with them. Maybe you didn’t actually choose them. And maybe it’s a good thing that you didn’t. After all, what do we really know anyway?