There’s something we run into sometimes where, despite our best efforts to reason with people, we run into a brick wall. It’s a strange phenomenon, especially when the clear case of logic is on our side. We may be making all the right points. We may have the facts on our side. We may even be completely unbiased in our position, but somehow the light of the facts isn’t breaking through.
The undeniable truth of logic seems to always be the uncompromising hinge on which everything else pivots. In reality, it is. But in some people’s minds it’s not always their primary consideration. To them, it may be of primary importance for some things. It may even be for most things. But there is probably some area where they are not open to hearing the unvarnished truth. And this may be the case for all of us. We may all have some area where we just don’t want to hear it, no matter how true it is. Often times this can be the case when there is some emotional aspect to the situation. It can be due to deeply held feelings, or an emotional trauma, or something that is just too painful to confront.
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As a rather minor and rudimentary example, I found this to be the case with a cousin who I spent quite a bit of time with when I was growing up. See, he had developed an unhealthy fear of dogs. Of course, this fear didn’t develop out of thin air. Apparently, there was an incident where he had been attacked by a dog. The memory of that bad experience had scarred him and his relationship to dogs. Knowing this fact, the fear he had developed of dogs wasn’t irrational. However, what did make his fear irrational was that he wouldn’t even go past a residence with a dog in the yard. I mean, just a dog tied up, or even contained in the yard. I remember this happening one time where we were riding our bikes in my neighborhood. We came upon a place with a dog that was leashed in the yard. There was no way the dog would ever be able to reach us. But, immediately, my cousin wanted to turn around. And no matter how many times I told him it was safe, there was just no convincing him. I could have tried to reason with him until I was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t have mattered. I just couldn’t understand it.
To be fair, by bringing up this example, I’m not calling my cousin irrational or unreasonable. Not at all. But in this one area, reasoning with him wasn’t going to help. Sometimes the worst way to appeal to somebody is by just appealing to their head. You need to appeal to them on an emotional level. There’s that old saying, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” If you just let them know that you are there for them, it can be the first step to helping them climb out of that ditch, at least in that area of their life. You can’t always address these things head-on with logic. Sometimes you need to come at from a different angle—address the emotional aspect of it first.