Anyway, continuing on a theme here. I feel like I already broached this subject yesterday. But that’s OK. We’ll delve into it a little bit more here. But the reality is, self-interest is not selfishness. The two aren’t really the same thing—or even related. While one reflects feeding our baser natures, the other is just fulfilling a basic human need. While one says, “I will help myself at the expense of someone else”, the other says, “I will help myself so that I can help someone else.”
I could see how moms would find themselves in this dilemma, even speaking as a guy. Moms give a lot of themselves for their children. But taking care of kids can take a lot out of you. In the drive to meet the needs of their children, and fill that role of motherhood, they can find that they are pouring themselves into that role at the expense of their own well-being. But when a mom pulls back, for her own sake—and her sanity–she isn’t acting out of selfishness. She is acting out of self-interest. She needs to take care of herself, not only for her own sake, but also for the sake of her own kids. She isn’t any help to them if she can no longer function. So, by helping herself, she is really also helping her children.
The same holds true when we see someone succeeding on a personal level. Whether they are attending college, or building a business, or just working a job, a person is only doing those things in their own self-interest. In fact, the entire economy is based on everyone acting in their own self-interest. It only becomes selfishness when no one else is considered in the process. We can better ourselves, but we can do it while keeping the thought of others in mind along the way. That’s the difference—increasing your own value can end up increasing your value to others. It’s not win-lose, it’s win-win. That’s the mindset we need to have. Some of us come by this more naturally. The rest of us have to work at it a little bit. But it’s a question we need to ask ourselves sometimes, “Am I being selfish, or am I just acting in my self-interest?”
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Sometimes two terms can sound like the same thing, when they are really much different. But it’s also true that one thing can quickly become another. I may start out with an attitude of self-interest, but end up in a scenario of selfishness. Something to watch out for. But, regardless, we shouldn’t feel guilty about acting in self-interest. It’s something we all have to do. In fact, it’s something that everyone else should be glad that we do. Because it not only benefits us, but it ends up benefitting them as well.