We should be careful who we label as our heroes, or we should be careful about what that means. One thing I think we’ve all fallen prey to is the tendency to place people we greatly admire up on a pedestal, as though they could never do something that would disappoint us. I’ve done it myself. However, I feel that I’ve learned from those situations where I’ve attributed too much credit to someone’s moral integrity column. The lesson learned is that, while some people deserve accolades for the high level at which they have lived their lives, at the end of the day, they are still just human beings. And they are fallible.
The simplest way that I think I can make this relatable is to compare it to marriage. In the beginning, two people are in love, and neither one sees virtually any flaws in the other. At least, any flaws that exist are greatly glossed over by that feeling of being in love, and the newness of it all. But then reality sets in—How does the saying go? Familiarity breeds contempt. Yeah, that’s it. That person you had so elevated in your mind, that object of your affection, the love of your life, is now a mere mortal. In fact, they always were. It’s just, now you finally realize it. You’re saying to yourself, “Wait, this isn’t the person I had pictured in my mind.” And while you may still hold a great deal of respect for that other person, you also have become increasingly aware of their shortcomings. And I don’t know, maybe this doesn’t happen in every relationship, but I’m guessing that it happens in a lot of them. Maybe one person in a relationship continues to hold this elevated status of the other in their minds.
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But is this healthy? And the even bigger question is, “Why do we do this?” I think it’s a good question, and a very important question. Some of us are more susceptible to this than others. In my honest opinion, I would submit to you that the tendency to elevate someone else in our minds is largely a reflection of our own deep-seated insecurities. Ouch! I know. That hurts. But I think no matter which way you slice it, that’s what it comes down to. You have this feeling deep down that you’re not enough, so you need someone else that is. You are so aware of your own shortcomings that you want to have someone in your life that doesn’t have any. So you project onto them this image of perfection. Seems hardly fair to them, does it?
There’s a well-known mantra where people say, “You should never meet your heroes.” Why do people say this? Because everyone knows that they’re almost certain to be disappointed. There is no living person that can actually live up to the image of perfection that they have carefully constructed in their minds. But maybe for that reason alone, we should all meet our heroes. Maybe it would bring us back to reality, in some sense. Maybe we would realize that ‘our heroes aren’t always heroic’.