Something that is amazing, but not all that surprising, is that we can become our own worst enemies. We can wonder what is standing in the way of our progress and not realize that the one standing in our way is us. We rotate 360 degrees in search of what is impeding our forward movement and come up blank. The reason is because the problem that escapes our view requires us to look inward. Introspection seems to have become a lost art. If we could learn the value of self-examination, it could lead to the resolution of most of our problems.
The reason for us looking past ourselves first and looking at ourselves last is usually a matter of pride. Yeah, I said it. That’s that ugly word. Actually, that one seems to lead to a lot of our problems. In reality, we need to turn that sentence around. We need to look at ourselves first and look beyond ourselves last. We need to ask ourselves the question, “Where is the problem? Is it something I’m doing?” Because the reality is that most of our problems begin and end with us. It’s called personal accountability. It’s something that doesn’t get talked about much today. And it’s becoming less and less popular. Come to think of it, the more I talk about this, I’m probably becoming less and less popular. Oh well. So be it.
The thing we have to recognize is this: if you don’t like, then change it. It’s as simple as that. Stop talking the problem and start talking the solution. The positive change we see in our lives begins with the decisions we make to act. If we have an issue with our weight, a relationship, or a flaw in our character, it might be because we’re doing something wrong. Relax, I’m not saying it definitely is. I’m just saying to start there first. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.
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I’ll admit. This process is painful. But it’s our very aversion to the pain of self-examination that keeps us in the pain of repeating the same mistakes again and again—which is so much worse. Stop the cycle and look at yourself first. We don’t have to just grow older, but we can mature as we grow older. We can have a maturity level that matches our age, instead of a physical age of 55 and a maturity level of 18. Not that we have to get there overnight. We might do some hard work on ourselves and get our maturity level up to about 35. But at least we’re making progress. Those two numbers are a little bit closer now.
The question I have to ask is this: what are the things you would like to see different in your life? Don’t tell me about all the things you would like to see change about other people. That kind of illustrates the problem here. You can’t change other people. You can only change you. Whatever your answer to that question, it comes down to one simple thing—it’s up to you.