Self-reliance—that’s the buzzword that surrounds every successful businessman who we also refer to as the self-made millionaire, or multi-millionaire, or billionaire. They didn’t inherit their wealth. They didn’t have it given to them. They went out and made it on their own. Certainly, there’s something to be admired about that. It’s rooted in a belief in yourself and a can-do attitude. And the vision they had to see the possibilities was something that was unique to them in regards to whichever way they achieved their success.
On the face of it, the story of the self-made man is really compelling and easy to believe. We all look on in awe and admiration and think to ourselves about the strength that they must possess to have made it as far as they have and, ultimately, we see them as a role model for what we could become or aspire to be ourselves. And they did have to possess unique qualities to capitalize on certain opportunities. But, at the heart of it, I’ve always believed that to be something of a false narrative. Because no matter who you are, or how successful you’ve become, everyone has had someone help them along the way. It wasn’t just a one-man show. Whether it was a partner who helped them throughout, or multiple partners who helped them at different steps along the way, they all had assistance from somebody—somebody who gave them a chance, somebody who saw potential in them, and somebody who was a mentor to them.
If you’ve ever read any biographies about successful people, in the middle of their story you will also read another story alongside theirs, describing how they filled the gaps in the main character in almost a sidekick kind of sense. Steve Jobs had Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates had Paul Allen, and Warren Buffett had Charlie Munger. If you ask any of these lead characters, I bet they would tell you that they wouldn’t be where they are today without their sidekick. For whatever strengths each lead character had, they also had great deficiencies that the other one made up for. To me, these are the really inspiring stories—the ones where a couple, or several people, worked together as a team to achieve great things and make their dreams come true. The story of the lone ranger businessman—the one that often gets portrayed—is kind of a depressing one. Because even if that story were true, it would mean that they never learned to work with anyone else, they never learned from anyone else, and they were kind of an island unto themselves. They made it, but they made it at the expense of everything else. They made it at the expense of human connection.
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I think any true salesmen will tell you that at the heart of sales it’s really about one thing—people. It’s not about their product, their business, or even themselves. But it’s about making a connection with that other person. It’s really about helping that other person get what they want. And when you do that, you often end up helping yourself.