On a recent visit, my Mom was riding with me in the car. As I was driving, she noticed my center console was stuffed full of receipts. She made an off-hand remark, “Oh, your Dad saves receipts too. Then later when he gets home he goes through them item by item to make sure it’s correct.” I responded jokingly, “Oh, so that’s where I get it from.” Only, I don’t seem to ever go through mine. He, at least, has a reason for keeping them. I don’t really know what my reason is. I guess I just keep them in case I should ever want to, which I never do. He’s a receipt verifier. I’m just a receipt collector. Hey everybody! Wanna see my receipt collection? I’m guessing maybe not.
Of course, this only illustrates how we do pick up certain traits and characteristics from our parents. And most of us pick up more traits from on parent than the other. This causes some to make statements like, “He’s his Mother’s son”, or “She’s her Father’s daughter”. These are just statements about how much a certain child mimics one parent’s characteristics. These things can even be humorous in the degree to which they’re true. The way we walk, the way we talk, and even the way we eat our food can be things we picked up from them. Not that any of those things are bad. But if we do happen to share any negative traits with them, we can be really quick to point to them.
It’s easy to cast blame for the way we are on someone else. It’s a pretty universal trait for us to point the finger of blame anywhere but on ourselves. And we don’t limit that to just non-family members. We include family too because…..well, they’re maybe just close enough to be culpable, or appearing to be. Maybe we can convince the jury because of our close relationship with the defendant. But even if we can get someone else to believe it, we will still have a hard time believing it ourselves. We all know, deep down, that we bear the responsibility for our own actions. Whatever proclivities we may have, although they could be loosely linked to someone else, are still under our own control.
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We have a responsibility to change the negatives about ourselves. Although we may have certain tendencies, no one is forcing us to do those things. If we are so ready to cast blame on our parents for the negatives, would we still be willing to give them credit for the good things about ourselves? So, maybe it all evens out in the end. And maybe it’s not Mom and Dad’s fault after all. Regardless of how we got to where we are, we should start with a clean slate. No one ever got very far in life with an attitude of blaming others. Take responsibility for who you are and who you want to become. As Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here.”