Here’s something we can easily do a lot of, but not something we have a right to do any of: Judging. Yeah, that’s almost become a national pastime. We don’t just do it out of sheer vengeance anymore. Now it’s become an almost verbal blood sport. Of course, the age of the internet and social media have made this a lot easier. The names people can call someone in person pale in comparison to the labels they can dole out in the ether of the internet. There’s something about sitting behind a computer screen that gives people a kind of false courage. They might be able to do it anonymously. But even if they can’t do it anonymously, they know that the worst they will get in return is an angry vitriolic response. Hardly a punch in the face. But are these words harmless?
Sometimes one wonders if the most harm we do to each other involve the things we do out of sheer unkindness—those things we’ve said, the ways we’ve acted, or just giving someone the cold shoulder. Passive aggressive, as it were. If you’re at least willing to start an argument with somebody you’re indicating that they still matter on some level, but to ignore someone completely sends the message that they don’t matter at all. If we diminish someone else’s value in some way maybe that’s the worst thing we could do to them. If you lose your sense of value, that’s getting to the core of your being. At least a punch in the face heals with a little time, but a punch to the core of who I am—that’s a little bit harder to recover from.
We pass judgement on others, and they pass judgement on us, and we’re both content to cross to the other side of the street should our paths ever meet. And with all the anger and resentment at the edges, there’s little understanding in between. Empathy—a sorely lacking and undervalued word in our vocabulary today. The urge to criticize easily takes precedence over our desire to understand, if even to justify ourselves in some way. Something tells me that, in most cases, assuming we don’t know everything would be better than assuming that we do.
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But even if we did understand completely, judgement really isn’t our place. As quickly as we are willing to take on the role of judge, jury, and executioner, it’s not a moniker we’ve been given. And as sure as we make certain our judgement is severe, we are never nearly as certain that our judgement is just. Besides that, by judging someone else I’m automatically holding myself to the same standard. If I fail in that same area I can just as easily point the finger back at myself. Maybe I’ll let go of the role of being the judge of others. I have enough to keep busy with just myself.