Every once in a while, someone comes across my path that has tastes or preferences that are entirely different from my own. But it doesn’t end there—their preferences, I would say, are different than, maybe, 95 percent of the rest of the world. I guess these are the times it’s tempting to believe that small percentage of people are wrong. It can make you think that because it’s not normative that it’s crazy. However, I may have to revise my thinking on that.
In things that don’t involve an area of wrong or right, it can be extremely easy to apply the same principles of discerning right vs. wrong. Some things are just a matter of taste, while others are a matter of discernment. But there are things that amaze me sometimes. For instance, I have come across—from time to time—a few people who don’t like movies. This one is a headscratcher to me. If someone tells me they don’t like movies, I just have to ask, “How can you not like movies?” It’s usually met with a shoulder shrug or some kind of sign of indifference. At this point, I feel like a truly rare event has occurred—like I just discovered a white unicorn. I want to say, “Hey everyone, come look at the strange zoo animal. It doesn’t like movies. Let’s study it to see what’s wrong with it.” (Of course, I don’t say that. I do have a mental filter.) But the shock and awe, on my part, really stem from the fact that I don’t understand their perspective. Certainly, they have their reasons for disliking movies, but I just don’t know what those reasons are.
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It’s very easy for me to impose my tastes and preferences onto others. It’s like saying that because I like something you have to like it too. We like feeling like we belong to a group, and when a large group of people agree with us on something we tend to think that it validates our own opinions. I think there’s an art to understanding other people. Part of that is leaving room for things you don’t understand. In reality, it’s pretty arrogant for me to just assume I understand other people’s thinking. It’s also shortsighted of me. There are as many different kinds of tastes and opinions as there are people. Even twins that look exactly alike aren’t exactly alike; sometimes they’re even exact opposites, personality-wise. If I have the courage and confidence to have my own opinions, then I need to have the courage and confidence to let other people have theirs.
Yeah, if you don’t agree with me, it doesn’t always mean that you’re wrong; I just might feel like you are. I suppose that’s my problem, and not yours. I probably need to place more value on people’s unique qualities. Maybe I just need to remember this quote by Winston Churchill: “If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.” I guess—now that I think about it—this quote makes me grateful that we are unique.