Signature of approval

How can you tell when something’s been approved? When it’s been signed. Yeah, that’s pretty much how the world works. We don’t work without signatures, we don’t move without signatures, and we don’t buy anything without signatures. Signatures are the means by which transactions are made—even if today it’s just an electronic signature—the deal doesn’t get done without a signature.

I don’t really understand what the big deal is. It’s just a signature. Somebody else could just as easily scribble something on it, and it would look just as good. That’s basically what a notary public does. Actually, theirs look better. They have these official looking stamps that look way better than my signature ever could. It doesn’t just make an ink mark on the paper; it makes a kind of mini-sculpture on the paper with an indelible mark that can’t be copied by hand. Plus, apparently, when they notarize something it’s official. But what do they do, really?

One time, after having a charge show on my credit card statement that wasn’t mine, I had to have an affidavit notarized, which was issued by the credit card company. So, I took it to a notary public. I thought, in my ignorance, there would be some kind of inquiry as to the meaning of this official form on which they had to leave their seal of approval. But to my surprise, there was little interest as to its meaning or purpose. I took it to the notary, even volunteering information about the reasons behind it, and it received a response something to the effect of, “Oh yeah, that stuff happens.”
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I found this puzzling. Doesn’t this individual who has to put his official mark on something want to at least know what he’s signing? I guess not. But it makes me wonder, “If he doesn’t care what he’s signing, then why does he have to sign it?” To me, the signature implies a level of interest in order to at least of approve of it. Without any interest in the subject, a signature is just a signature. It’s just a bunch of chicken scratching that might as well be signed by a chicken. Maybe they could just start using chickens as notary publics, then they wouldn’t have to bother people to do the work. Plus, it could save some chickens from their untimely demise. The free-range people would love that. It’s even better than free-range; it’s no range. As in, out of range of a machete? I don’t know.

Regardless, something should be done about us casting about our signatures as if they were confetti, because they become about as valuable as confetti when we do that. If we sign something, it should mean that it’s significant. Certainly, the President wouldn’t sign something that comes across his desk without knowing what it is. And one of the biggest reasons is because he knows his signature means something. There’s a weight behind that signature because it’s not one that you come by easily.

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