Sometimes the greatest roadblock to understanding is a failure to plainly lay out the facts. The assumption of understanding can prevent someone from ever understanding at all. People rail against ideas and beliefs that they never understood in the first place. This often happens when they never gained a firm grasp of it. Some people never care to understand, but for the ones who do care it can mean the difference between continuing on in ignorance and being enlightened by the truth.
I’ve discovered an important part of discussing contradicting ideas with other people: it’s important to find out if they’re only looking for evidence to support their own beliefs or if they’re really on an honest journey to discover the truth. Many of us have done it—we’ve made arguments at the expense of the facts because we felt the need to validate our own opinions. It takes a certain intellectual honesty to go into a debate considering the possibility that we might be wrong. Many times people go into a debate with this mindset: “Don’t confuse me with the facts, I know what I know.” When that’s the case, you know you’re fighting an uphill battle. It’s tough to get an idea across when the other person already has their mind made up. The honest wresting over ideas between two people is actually pretty rare.
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One thing that you often find, after digging through all the arguments someone has built up against the truth, is that—at the core of it—they are no longer making an intellectual argument. When you get past all the bluster and sophistry you find that it’s really an emotional argument. They have tied themselves so tightly to those ideas, emotionally, that it’s tough to unravel feelings from ideas. It’s not that they have left reason; they are just no longer interested in listening to reason. Their arguments are really just the outer wall of protection they’ve built up to defend their emotions. It’s understandable when you think about it; people hold deeply held convictions and they feel the need to defend them. The problem comes when convictions contradict truth.
But the fear of facing personal attacks can prevent us from plainly presenting the facts in the first place. We never get to a plainly spelled-out case because we’re too busy trying to defend against their verbal onslaught. This is where things can get difficult. You get off into side issues and rabbit trails that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. It takes a mental discipline to stay on topic and stay on the core issue. But if you can stay on topic, I believe it greatly increases your chances of getting through to the other person. If you can plainly present the facts in intelligible terms without getting distracted by someone else’s anger and vitriol, it might just break through. In ignoring their anger, you could be doing them the greatest service, because they might just see it and finally have that ‘Eureka’ moment.