A struggle between two competing ideas or opinions inevitably causes a tension where both sides are immediately at battle in a war of words with the preconceived notion that each one has to assert themselves at the expense of the other. It’s an automatic zero-sum game, at least in their minds. It elicits an us vs. them dynamic. It’s a competition. Not that it isn’t that, but that’s not all that it is.
I happened to be in wrestling in High School. It was a great metaphor for life. And wrestling happens to be a great metaphor for the topic of this post. Beyond the usual lessons that wrestling teaches us about life—not giving up, giving it your all, and persevering in the face of adversity– there is much more that it has to teach us. Just look at the winner-takes-all aspect of it and you’ll miss a much richer, deeper, and more nuanced meaning. You’ll miss all that comes along with it. Not just the learning, but the understanding. It’s much more complex than ‘I won—you lost—YOU’RE A LOSER!’ As lovely a sentiment as that is, I don’t think it quite captures the entire spectrum of things. Our minds are automatically drawn to the black-and-white ends and we miss all that happens in between.
When I had to face an opponent on the mat, everything was a blank slate. I didn’t know anything about him and he didn’t know anything about me. But all that was about to change. In short measure—at first contact—I was about to discover what I was dealing with: “Two forces of will caught in an epic struggle that could impact the future of mankind forever.” No…..not really. Sorry, my movie trailer voice took over there for a second. It wasn’t that epic, although it seemed like it to me at the time. This event, for the next six minutes, would demand all my time, effort and attention. He was going to bring all his strength and skill to bear against me and I would soon learn how much skill and strength he had. This unknown—this unanswered question—was the predominate thought in my mind. I was wanting to find out what he was made of.
There are surgical procedures that can help fix your erectile dysfunction problem rather it is meant to order generic viagra offer you temporarily relief. The course material is easily comprehendible and the student gets the license and viagra low cost the steering wheel in hand. It shows the actual condition of our joints tends to deteriorate. cheapest levitra A new study shows that London men are most likely to increase due to an expected increase in the blood sugar draws fluid from tissue in women viagra order your body.
But back up a second…..maybe I was trying too hard to answer one question without thinking about answering the other: what was I made of? Maybe that was what I really wanted to know. It could be that I was afraid to ask. That’s what this was about: to see if I could persevere and continue in the struggle regardless of the outcome. In the process, I would discover my opponent and what he was about—yes. But I would also discover myself and what I was about. We may even develop a mutual respect in the process.
Wrestling isn’t always about determining a winner; sometimes it’s about coming to an understanding. In fact, maybe it’s mostly about coming to an understanding. It’s about coming to an understanding about that other person, and it’s about coming to an understanding about yourself.