I’ve been in that unfortunate position of thinking you’re accurately articulating your ideas only to end up with the other party looking at you with a blank stare. These are the times when you wonder if you’re speaking in a foreign language. And it’s times like these where you end up just as confused as they are. One wonders: “What are you talking about?” The other wonders: “How can you not be understanding what I’m saying?” Two confused people. Neither one knows why.
Asking “Are we on the same page?” is code for asking whether you’re talking about the same thing, or even approaching it in the same way. Interestingly, I tend to believe the latter is often the culprit in the discussion. We can often be talking about the same thing, but not realize, at the time, that we’re approaching it in two entirely different ways. Two people can be trying to answer the same question. One person comes up with an answer of ‘two’; the other person comes up with an answer of ‘red and orange’. What? How can two people come up with not just different answers, but entirely different categories of answers? Clearly there’s some disconnect somewhere. Both answers can’t be true, or can they? Well, in the strictest sense, no. But if you allow some room for misunderstanding, you can see how someone could come up with either answer. It’s very easy to just jump to the conclusion that the other person is lacking in mental aptitude here. But setting our prejudices aside, it can be possible to come to an understanding of the other’s view.
One area where we fail to come to an understanding, and end up at loggerheads, is that of approaching a question from either the standpoint of logic or emotions. This is often the case in male and female relations, or even when one person is more logic-oriented while the other is more emotions-oriented. Neither one is wrong; just two entirely different approaches. One will answer what they think about a subject, while the other will answer how they feel about the subject. Knowing this, you can see how this could easily lead to conflict. They’re approaching the same question from two entirely different angles. And when that happens, it’s inevitable that resolution of the conflict is unlikely. For not only are you coming at the question from different angles, you’re coming at them from entirely different arenas. Two opposing viewpoints, and approaches, and never the twain shall meet.
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Say, for instance, the question is: How many colors were displayed in last night’s sunset? In the answers given above, one gave a straight up-and-down answer, while the other—inherent in the response was the answer—but they also elaborated on what those colors were. Now the responses tend to make more sense. Some clarity is given in knowing the question. But sometimes we’re not getting the answer wrong, we’re just answering the wrong question.