We all need to get away and spend some time to ourselves. It’s just a natural requirement we have to decompress. I know it as well as anyone, I guess. Instead of feeling energized by being around other people, I tend to find them draining. Don’t take it personal; I feel that way about everyone. No, it’s more a reflection of my introverted nature that causes me to seek the quiet solitude of my own internal dialogue. Sometimes even that dialogue is hushed because….well, I don’t want to disturb my own solitude.
Yeah—isolation—it sounds really good, and can be, but not for long periods of time. We just weren’t built that way. We are made for relationships, sometimes, whether we like it or not. Just ask any guy who’s spent time in solitary confinement, and they’ll tell you. After two weeks in the hole they’ll happily sit through a week-long insurance seminar with a big grin on their face. He won’t even care that he doesn’t sell insurance; he’s just happy to be there. While others may have eyes glazed over with mind-numbing boredom and ask how he can stand it, he just responds, “I just got out of solitary confinement.” Oh, well that explains it. I guess it lends perspective.
But it doesn’t just matter why we isolate ourselves as it does what we isolate ourselves from. Politicians use words like ‘isolationism’. This is a term for nations who remove themselves politically and economically from the world stage, and it really means that they’re intent on keeping all others at a distance for all reasons. This isolation I can’t really advocate. You don’t want to be anyone’s friend, and no one wants to be yours. And extreme examples of this exist. Countries like North Korea come to mind. But If you’re the Roman Empire trying to protect yourself from invading marauders, it’s certainly understandable that you might be a little edgy about who’s knocking on your door. Although tempting sometimes, this isolation doesn’t really benefit us in the end. Out of frustration, we sometimes would like to just build a wall to keep everyone out. But that removes us from any benefits of interacting with others and we become an island unto ourselves. We don’t expose ourselves to any upside of relationship because all we see is the downside.
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But it’s when we isolate for the wrong reasons where things go awry. Usually those reasons are rooted in fear. The resulting loneliness of not having any friends show itself most plainly when you need them the most. But there is a balance to be had here. We don’t become a doormat for just anyone and everyone. Conversely, we don’t cordon ourselves off from the world and exclude any interaction from taking place. But when we do isolate ourselves, it’s for the right reasons; and when we engage with others, we demand respect for ourselves in the same manner we show them respect.