It’s important to talk to yourself sometimes. I mean, I know it sounds crazy….and even looks crazy. But you can do it without actually looking crazy; you can do it internally. If you use your internal dialogue to talk to yourself no one will be the wiser. It’s sometimes this internal dialogue that’s necessary to build ourselves up. While we might lack the external encouraging word from someone else, we can always give one to ourselves.
In the realm of psychology, talking to yourself can easily cross the line into insanity. In fact, it’s kind of epitomized by this one quirky trait. Any movie you’ve ever seen featuring the mentally ill shows people in the mental ward talking to themselves. I suppose that’s why it’s not something we try to emulate. But it brings up an interesting point. While these unfortunate persons might have suffered some kind of mental break, you wonder if this dialogue with themselves is somehow therapeutic. Like, maybe it’s a natural result of whatever mental trauma they’ve suffered. Our bodies and minds have interesting but natural ways of working out and resolving the problems we’re currently facing. A person who feels as though they’re not being heard may resort to talking to themselves just for the sake of being heard by somebody, even if that somebody happens to be themselves. I suppose there’s something comforting about talking to a person you know will listen and won’t reject you. Sometimes the best therapist is the one in your head.
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But lest you think this activity is only reserved for the person who has lost touch with reality, you should know it’s a common practice in sports psychology. Positive and reinforcing self-talk has been used to help the performance of athletes across a broad range of sporting activities. This practice has some kind of effect on our deep inner self. It changes a perspective that can become damaged by the relentless influx of negative reinforcement. If you think about it, the mental pressure of persisting in a competitive environment can be overwhelming. You need that positive voice to keep you from folding under the pressure. And the coach on the outside can’t make a dent if we won’t listen to the coach on the inside. Unfortunately, failure is usually preceded but the perception of failure. It’s something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Belief in ourselves backed up by words confirming that belief has a way of changing our reality.
This self-talk can look differently for all of us. It’s up to us how we do it. But one thing is certain: we have to learn to be our own best friend, instead of our own worst enemy. The problem isn’t always that we don’t talk to ourselves, but that we do talk to ourselves in such negative ways. We give into the idea that we are merely a sum total of all of our failures. But that’s not the truth. We learn part of who we are in how we respond to failure. And it’s by talking to ourselves in reinforcing ways that we learn to pick ourselves up again.