Can you imagine if we just said whatever we were thinking? We wonder what that would be like. It’s kind of a double-edged sword, though, isn’t it? On the one hand it’s easy to think, “Wow that would be really nice to let out all my frustrations with everyone at once.” Then you start to think about the consequences of a verbal rant and suddenly you’re placing your sword back into its sheath. Our words have power, don’t they? And once they’re out there, we can’t pull them back in.
I was thinking about my own frustrations with other people and how, often times, I think it would be nice just to say what I’m really thinking. But I do, like most of us, have a filter through which I run my thoughts before they become verbally expressed. And some of us have better filters than others. Maybe some of our filters went missing a long time ago and they’ve never been replaced. It could explain the status of some of our relationships.
While we sometimes think it would be good for us to let out our frustrations (like a release valve letting out a bunch of steam), it can be easy to overlook the negative aspects of that. There may be days you would like to tell off your boss and just say, “You’re the worst boss I’ve ever had. You have an ego the size of Montana and you have zero leadership skills!” You imagine following it with a dramatic exit from their office and maybe you’ll just punch a frustrating co-worker in the face on the way out for good measure. Like a big red cherry to top it off. I’m just kidding. I know you would never do that. Or, you may have a friend who lets you down all the time. You have a mentally prepared speech where you just want to tell them unequivocally, “You’re a terrible friend. You’re never there for me and you only think of yourself! Oh, and you’re a lousy golfer!”, as you try to get in that last jab. While some of these statements may have an element of truth to them, they can easily get exaggerated while shrouded with the cloak of anger.
Besides the fact you would probably be looking for a new job, and witness the mass exodus of any friends from your life, there are other negative aspects to consider before embarking on your scorched-earth campaign. You might just produce other results you never anticipated. While we may think of how good it would feel to get these things out, we’ve just lost the opportunity to have a positive impact on that other person’s life. Because no matter what you do or say from here on out, do you think they’re ever going to listen to you again, or use your life as a model of good behavior? Besides having the positive impact you usually want, you’ll leave in your wake an expanse of hurt feelings, bitterness, and resentment, as you’ve just burned any bridges into their lives.
There’s certainly a place to speak our minds. However, using good judgment and a measured response are the path to being a positive force in the lives of those around us. I think they call it ‘taking the high road’.
We often don’t know the reasons other people have for acting the way they do. That’s why we extend grace to these people. That’s what a Christian is supposed to do. Matthew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Jesus was speaking here to our need to respond in a positive manner to other people and their negative actions towards us. Jesus made some radical statements. Doing good to and praying for those who despitefully use us and persecute us certainly isn’t a natural response. Our flesh nature wants to retaliate. The things Jesus talks about take work and effort. But this is how we have a positive impact on other lives.
Romans 12:21 says, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” You see, when we respond in a retaliatory manner we are really just returning evil for evil. Paul tells us here, though, that we overcome evil with good. If we respond in a negative manner we are really allowing the evil to overcome us. We aren’t rising above the circumstance, but allowing it to overtake us.
Psychology although it deals with behavioural aspects is viagra in canada great drugshop not rendered under medical science whereas psychiatry is. Male great web-site purchase levitra online sexual organ is one piece of this machine which is most prone to weakness. In viagra cheap india serious bleeding, should be given a mild sedative to help you relax down. With the increased production of these hormones 99% of men will have weaker nerves, congested prostrate and low secretion of testosterone from the reproductive organs. online order viagra Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech [be] alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” This is a way we extend grace to others. We season our speech with it. If we think of salt, it’s a preserving force and keeps our speech from corruption. A gracious response is always appreciated by others. The great thing is it can also expose their own hearts to themselves. As they see your gracious response, the contrast with their vitriol can shed light on their own heart condition. This could be the prompting for positive change in their own lives and maybe even an opportunity to ‘give an answer for the hope that lies within us.’
Proverbs is always a great place to find verses regarding our tongue. Proverbs 15:1-2 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” The reality is when we respond in a gracious manner, we’re really doing ourselves a favor. As this verse says, ‘a soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger’. When we lash out in anger at other people, we are really just stirring up their own anger. And guess who’s going to be the recipient of that anger? If we’re wise, we know how to respond in a manner fitting the situation. If we’re foolish, we respond foolishly.
While lashing out at the other person can provide a momentary sense of relief, the long-term consequences are more costly that we can imagine. We don’t know the chain of dominoes that can be set in motion due to our foolish response. On the other hand, we also don’t know the degree to which our gracious response can influence someone else’s life for the good.
Matthew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
Romans 12:21 says, “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech [be] alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
Proverbs 15:1-2 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.”