As we embark on a brand new year, many of us have the feeling of wanting to make changes in our lives or starting with a clean slate. We many times see things in our lives that we don’t like and want to make changes. A new year is a good time to do this. Even though the start of a new year doesn’t erase any of our past mistakes, I suppose it’s that start of another beginning that gives us the feeling of having a do-over.
There is one thing I thought would be good to focus on. Instead of getting caught up in and distracted by the differences we have with other people, maybe start with the things we have in common with others. I know it’s easy sometimes to go right to the things that are different about us. We don’t realize, though, that we can always find things we have in common with others. When you think about when you start a conversation with a stranger, you always start with something you have in common, don’t you? Like the weather, we all have that in common. The reality is, we can always find something that we have in common with other people.
Probably, this is most important when we find we are at odds with someone else. Could be a family member or a friend or co-worker. But if we want to resolve conflict with them we generally start with things that we can agree on, and work out from there. Starting with a point of contention is probably going to result in more contention. I notice this when people on opposite ends of whatever spectrum end up in a debate. Each side is arguing their side. The goal seems to be, though, just spouting off their viewpoint. They don’t seem to approach it with the intention of getting them to see that their points are valid. This often ends up in a shouting match—arguing for the sake of arguing.
When I think about it, I myself, am often guilty of this. I don’t generally approach a disagreement with the attitude that they might have some elements of their argument that are accurate. I’m usually too busy building up my own defense. So, I’m so busy playing defense that I forgot to play offense. Kind of the opposite of the way that saying usually goes, isn’t it? Starting off on the defensive doesn’t really provide an open door for the other side. I think this is why we often see both sides leave a disagreement with the same conclusions they had going in. I wonder if this is why company and union negotiations are so difficult—the inability to see the other side’s argument. Both sides may think they own the truth, when in reality the truth is somewhere in between the both of them. Of course we can’t yield ground to things we know to be absolute truth. But some things may be open for discussion with others. This is when finding common ground can provide the way for a productive conversation.
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1 Corinthians 9:19-22 says, “For though I be free from all [men], yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.” I believe the importance of what Paul is saying here is profound. Paul presented the Gospel message to people from all walks of life. The reality is, he didn’t present it by compromising his beliefs, but while staying in the confines of what was lawful he approached it from their perspective. He wanted to show them the light of the Gospel, but he didn’t want unnecessary and needless things to get in the way of them coming to the truth. He says, “I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.” This was his desire and endgame he had in mind. He didn’t want to get in disputes with them on some side-issue. We often do this with each other in the Church and get in arguments over things that aren’t of primary importance. And we often lose the main idea in the process.
In Ephesians 4:13 it says, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:” What we truly want is for all of us to get in agreement with the truth, not us deciding what is true—putting our own biases and opinions aside and seeking the truth together in unity—a knowledge of the Son of God, leading to our perfection and fullness in Christ.
Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
1 Corinthians 9:19-22 says, “For though I be free from all [men], yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all [men], that I might by all means save some.”
In Ephesians 4:13 it says, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:”